Recently Sony decided to recall Little Big Planet after concerns were raised over possible objectionable lyrics. Sony's actions have caused me to issue an apology of my own.
When I was seven, I was playing in the backyard with my friends. We were throwing the football around and, because of my athletic incompetence, I threw the football over the fence. When I hopped the fence to retrieve it, I discovered that I had smashed my neighbor's prized lawn gnome.
Being the good little boy I was, I admitted to it right away. I spent the next month mowing lawns and pulling weeds so I could buy my neighbor a new gnome, which I did. This incident, as well as my effort to repent for it, caused me to get to know my neighbor and become friends with him and his family. This is how I learned he was an Evangelical.
At this time, out of an overabundance of caution, I would like to apologize to the entire Evangelical faith for smashing that lawn gnome. My actions were misguided, not malicious. While I know that I can never make amends to you all for my destructive act, I hope you can accept my apology. Please don't use me as fuel for your next general objectionable media burning.