Tom Clancy's Xerox Copyer

One of the features in Tom Clancy's EndWar is the ability to control the action via voice control. Here now is a sample of people using the feature.

"Attack. Attack red unit. Alpha Squad 7, attack red unit. Why won't you attack? Wait, Alpha Squad 7, attack the brown people. That didn't work either. Why aren't you attacking? What do you mean "does not recognize voice input"? Oh fuck it.

"Wait, now they're doing something. Yes, they're advancing toward the enemy, and- What are they doing? Alpha Squad 7 is taking off their uniforms and- Oh you've gotta be kidding me. Why the fuck are they showing me this, and why the fuck is Alpha Squad 7 fucking the enemy. God damn it!

"Where the fuck did that lightening bolt come from? What do you mean "Holy Vengeance Activated"? You don't listen to me when I give orders clearly outlined in the manual, but you listen to me when I say random bullshit! Guess now I know what it's like to raise a teenager. Now the Archangel is here, there's the Four Horsemen, and an angel who looks a lot like Matt Damon.

"Wait, let me try something. Brothel "Transportation Commencing". Now I'm in a completely different place. The signs are in a foreign text, so I don't know where I am, but it looks like a tightly packed, highly populated city in Asia. Also, it appears Alpha Squad 7 has been replaced with a lone little boy. That's strange. Okay, now there's this guy tapping me on the shoulder, he must be my guide for this mission. He's an extremely tall white guy who looks rather creepy to be honest. "Follow man." Okay the guy is leading me into a shabbily put together building. Now I'm in a room bathed in red light with this guy. Why is my guide taking his clothes off?

"Okay, fuck this game. I'm turning off the game, turning off my TV, and now I'm going to vomit. That is fucking disgusting! Why would a game like that come out of the mind of a conservative like Tom Clancy? Guess I know the next game to be a lightening rod for anti-video game groups. Fuck. I need to purge that imagery from my mind. I'm going to a strip club."

So there you have it, sample dialog from someone using the voice control feature in Tom Clancy's EndWar, a game that promises to be the end of video games as we know it.

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