Blissful Impressionistic Drug Humor

Slipknot Is Bliss

Hunter and Robin are sitting outside at an outdoor cafe just down the street from the offices of the Redertainment Corporation Of America. They are eating lunch and taking in the environment that surrounds them. The sun is out the weather is warm, birds are chirping, and no vagrants are present. Robin looks around at this nice day and say-

Robin- Hunter, don't you just think this is a nice day today?
Hunter- I don't know. It's a bit to metally.

Robin finds this comment odd. She looks at Hunter and sees he's got his headphones in and is listening to Slipknot.

Robin- Honey.
Hunter- Yes dear?
Robin- (Yelling at the top of her lungs.) Take off your damn headphones!

The tranquility that had previously surrounded Robin and Hunter is shattered. Birds fly away, the air starts to cool, and a homeless man shows up to beg for change. As Hunter removes his headphones, a light rain begins to fall. Robin gets up and leaves as Hunter sits there in the steadily increasing downpour.


Final Fantasy XIII Last Impressions

People have openly wondered what the difference is between western developed RPGs and japanese developed RPGs. The difference, as far as I can tell, is mission structure. JRPGs utilize a more narrative style to deliver the missions to you, telling you of these missions in cut scenes and dialog with NPCs. Examples of this mission structure are the Final Fantasy series, Xenosaga, and Star Ocean. Western RPGs actually give you missions, like you were a spy working for the NSA or a guy who needs explicit directives in order to accomplish anything. Examples of this mission structure are Fallout 3, Knights of the Old Republic, and Fable.

I came to this realization as I began to wonder why I didn't enjoy the latest Final Fantasy game, FF XIII, as much as I have other Final Fantasy games in the past. It's a great game, I gave it a B, but I didn't really enjoy it. There was a point while playing FFXIII where I swore so loud that my neighbor heard it. Granted my window was open at the time, but my neighbor generally doesn't give a fuck what I do.

Then I remembered how much I loved Fallout 3. It's an RPG with many elements of a Final Fantasy game. Great narrative, shops and inventory systems, and battles against characters I may be severely underpowered against. So why did I enjoy Fallout 3 significantly more than Final Fantasy XIII? The missions, specifically the non-essential ones.

I spend hours, literally hours, running around in an open field trying to get up to the maximum level that I could. Running around, in circles, endlessly, not really going anywhere or accomplishing anything. To me this was not compelling. If I was watching Football and utilized the picture in picture to allow me to run around in a field for hours while watching other men run around in a field for hours this might interest me. Emphasis on might.

Whereas with Fallout 3, if I feel the need to get more powered up, or just have half an hour to kill, I can take up a non-essential mission. I can go out, accomplish a feat, get my reward, get experience points, and feel like I've accomplished something in this game. Have I actually accomplished something? Maybe, maybe not, but at least I have less missions bugging me for accomplishment than I had before.

Right now I would be offering up a final paragraph of how this is evidence of how I've changed as a person. How I am a different person now than the person I was back in high school. Here would be a great place to make some sort of grand statement of what it really means to be a gamer. However, nothing of that grand of a nature is coming to me. It's not that I think I have or have not changed as a person, it's that I can't put it in a way that I feel is significant. Both Final Fantasy XIII and Fallout 3 are good on their own merits, I just currently prefer the merits of Fallout 3. Perhaps in the future this will change, as it has in relation to my preferences in the past. In lieu of a significant closing statement, here's a kitty.

Super Mario Galaxy 2 First Impressions

I'm trying not to recycle an old joke. I'm trying not to bring up magic mushrooms, touch fuzzy get dizzy, and other things that many people other than me have make the obvious joke about. I'm trying really hard not to make that joke.

Dude, your face is a spaceship

Dude, that is a BIG turtle.

Dude, if I had a dinosaur like that, I would eat so many Doritos.

Dude, that would make a killer bong.

Dude, I'm wearing this suit that turns me into a bee. And earlier, I was wearing a suit that allowed me to produce clouds!

So I tried and I failed. Aw damn. Now, if you'll excuse me, my dealer just texted me. My shipment of Pineapple Express is in. Saul, you da man!

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