Allison Red heard of a tradition held by other families that she wanted to emulate, the Sunday dinner. To that end, Allison obligated her only child, Hunter Red, to bring his fiance, Robin Anderson, to come over to the Red Family Household for dinner and conversation. Rounding out this family get-together was the patriarch of the Red family, Elvis Red. As this was a day that he did not work or did not have to drive, Elvis was drinking. The scene begins with Hunter and Robin arriving at the door with their contribution to the meal, Robin's homemade potato salad. Hunter knocks on the door and Allison answers.
Allison- Hunter! Robin!
Robin- Hello Allison.
Hunter- Hello Mother.
Allison- Hunter, how many times have I asked you not to call me Mother?
Hunter- Many times, which is why I continue to do it.
Robin- I hope it's okay that I brought potato salad.
Elvis(In the other room)- Did I hear that right?
A look of dread comes over Allison and Hunter.
Robin- What's wrong?
Elvis(In the other room)- Did I hear that someone's brought counterfeit potato salad?
Robin looks at Hunter and Allison oddly.
Robin- What does he mean?
Allison- Come on in, dinner's nearly ready.
Hunter and Robin enter the Red Family Household. Robin goes with Allison to the kitchen to put the potato salad in the fridge while Hunter goes down to the den with Elvis, who is watching TV.
Hunter- Hey dad.
Elvis- (Elvis makes a noise that sounds like a cross between a chicken clucking and a dog barking.)
Hunter- I see you're enjoying the Ironman 2.
Elvis- Yes. I know it's not in high definition Blu-ray.
Hunter- Yep.
Elvis- I just don't see the difference between this and DVD.
Hunter- Really, because I remember showing you Torchwood: Children Of Earth. That just looks-
Elvis- What's that?
Hunter- What?
Elvis- That thing you just mentioned, Torching Children?
Hunter- No, Torchwood. It's a British television series.
Elvis- Look, as far as I'm concerned, British TV starts and ends with Monty Python, and that isn't worth putting out on Blu-ray.
Hunter- So, I take it Fawlty Towers doesn't exist?
Elvis- What?
Hunter- Fawlty Towers.
Elvis- Aw, you can stop that conspiracy talk right now.
Hunter- What?
Elvis- It doesn't matter how well a tower is made, if a guy runs a plane into it, it'll collapse.
Hunter- What are you talking about?
Elvis- You and your Twin Towers planted explosion faulty tower bullshit.
Hunter sighs in exasperation.
Hunter- Fawlty Towers is a series starring John Cleese where he runs a hotel.
Elvis looks at Hunter blankly.
Elvis- Allison! You need help with dinner?
Allison(In the kitchen)- No, Robin and I have things handled.
Elvis- Hunter, go see if your mom needs help with dinner.
Allison(In the kitchen)- I don't need his help.
Elvis- Hunter, go see if your mom needs help with dinner.
Hunter leaves the den for the kitchen. In the kitchen, Allison is busy making gravy for dinner, roast with rice, salad, and potato salad, while Robin is fiddling with Allison's new laptop.
Allison- What I don't understand is why Hunter is so endeared with Firefox. It seems to be just as fast as Internet Explorer.
Robin- I think he just likes sticking it to the man.
Hunter- And the woman.
Elvis(In the den)- Allison!
Allison- Yes dear.
Elvis(In the den)- Why don't you have Huner chop up some vegetables?
Allison- We're not having vegetables with dinner. We're having roast with rice, salad, and potato salad.
Elvis(In the den)- And vegetables! Vegetables instead of counterfeit potato salad.
Robin(To Hunter)- Why is he saying my potato salad is counterfeit?
Hunter- I have no idea.
Allison- Dinner should be ready in about ten minutes. Hunter, could you start setting the table?
Hunter- Of course.
Hunter starts gathering the plates and silverware as Robin finishes up with Allison's laptop.
Robin- Well, there you are, you should be maintaining your Farmville farm at peak efficiency.
Allison- Great, maybe now I can beat Liz.
Elvis(In the den)- I don't hear veggie cutting.
Robin- How would he hear that?
Allison sticks her head in the freezer.
Allison- Oh damn, we're out of ice. Hunter, would you run down to the store and het some ice?
Hunter- Sure.
Hunter starts making his way to the door.
Robin- We need ice?
Hunter- Robin, would you like to come with me?
Robin doesn't quite know what to make of this.
Robin- Sure.
Robin gets up to leave with Hunter.
Elvis(In the den)- Ice is not veggies, you can't cut ice.
Hunter and Robin walk out the front door, closing it behind them. As they make their way out to the car, Robin says-
Robin- What your dad just said didn't make sense.
Hunter- No, it did not.
Robin- And that conversation you two had, I remember you showing him Torchwood on Blu-ray.
Hunter- He doesn't.
Robin- That seems strange.
Hunter stops and looks directly at Robin.
Hunter- Robin, if I ever get like that, I want you to shoot me.
Robin doesn't quite know what to make of this. Hesitantly, she says-
Robin- Okay. Let's just hope it doesn't come to that.
Hunter- Not if I have anything to do about it.
Hunter and Robin get in their car to go off to the store.
END SCENE
And Now Something To Gloat About
As you have been annoyingly told many times, I am getting married on November 1st. Recently, my fiance, Robin, had some glamour shots taken of her. I'd show them to you, but they are incredibly racy. Also, the photographer doesn't want me posting them on this blog. However, rest assured, if I posted them here, you would be intensly jealous. Damn.
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