The Redertainment Valentine's Day Spectacular!!!

Images Of Her
by Hunter Red

When I close my eyes I am taunted
Taunted with images
Images of her
Her
I can see her
I can see her walking around
I can see her talking
I can see her laughing
I can see her being
Being exactly what she wants to be
Being exactly where she wants to be
Being with me
When I close my eyes I am taunted
Taunted with images
Images of her
Images of her that only exist when my eyes are closed






Beer x72
by Hunter Red

Beer
Beer
Beer beer beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
It is time to get away
Beer
Beer
Beer beer beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
To a place where there is bliss
Beer
Beer
Beer beer beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
Far away from all of this
Beer
Beer
Beer beer beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
Somewhere where there's no one near
Beer
Beer
Beer beer beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
No one point out no one's near
Beer
Beer
Beer beer beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
Time machine engage
Beer
Beer
Beer beer beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
Time machine energize!
Beer
Beer
Beer beer beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
Oh wait, I'm still here.






Red Review- Klown
Two years ago, I received I Spit On Your Grave via Netflix.  It was about Valentine's Day and I found it fitting to be watching a horrible, deplorable piece of cinema on that day.  The movie seemed to fit my mood.  Thereafter I set out to make a tradition of seeing horrible, deplorable pieces of cinema in time for Valentine's Day.
Last year I intended to watch A Serbian Film in order to maintain this tradition.  My plan was to go online and illegally download it through means that are highly illegal and could get me prosecuted and beaten by Chris Dodd.
This plan hit a snag when A Serbian Film was legitimately released on a legitimate Blu-Ray legitimately.  So, I legitimately bought it and posted a picture of myself holding the legitimate Blu-Ray copy of A Serbian Film that I bought legitimately.
Due to the legitimate release of A Serbian Film, my tradition of seeing horrible, deplorable pieces of cinema hit a snag.  Undaunted by snags, I wanted to continue this tradition the next year, meaning this year, and kept my ear to the ground for a movie of suitable deplorableness.
Last year I heard about a Swedish film entitled "Klown".  Quoting from a review of Klown "Think of all the gags you think might go too far, and then watch as Nørgaard takes them even further."  When I heard this description I thought I had found a movie of suitable deplorableness to continue my tradition with.  To this end, I had Klown sent to me via Netflix.
I turned Klown on and watched it.  I watched it and watched it... for about twenty minutes.  Throughout this twenty minute period there was one question that kept coming back to me: When are they going to do anything?  I understand the concept of character development, as well as the need to set up the plot that the characters are going to be following.  However, as this process is going on, the characters need to be doing something.  Preferably, something interesting.  Sure I could see where this film was going, and who might be the principal characters in the thing that was going to happen, but I sincerely didn't care about it.  I didn't even care about the pearl necklace joke that the filmmakers took care to setup, then executed in a way that was wholly uncomfortable yet wholly uninteresting.
After about twenty minutes of watching Klown, I turned it off and started watching Ted instead.
In my opinion, Ted is a far more entertaining movie, and starts getting entertaining very, very quickly.  Ted gets entertaining much more quickly than Klown.
I also appreciated the parts with Joel McHale in it.  I've watched Mr. McHale for years, and have always appreciated the way he can bring out the unapologetic jackass out of any role.
Ted might have been more entertaining if I was inebriated at the time I watched it.  I'll have to watch it again when I'm not about to go to work, because showing up to work high is just an uncomfortable experience.
Overall, I could not suggest people watch Klown.  Perhaps if you have more patience and can wait a good long time for something to pay off, you might like Klown.  However, if you sincerely like engaging in that kind of behavior, I might suggest going through the ungodly torture that is properly saving for a house.  Klown and saving for a house seem like great activities to engage in if you are a masochist.
Klown: Not recommended






My Ruby
by Hunter Red

My Ruby is always there for me
My Ruby is with me when I need her and when I do not
My Ruby keeps me warm when the outside world tries to cool me
My Ruby carries me throughout this world
My Ruby takes me ass to town
My Ruby is the one
My Ruby is my all
My Ruby is my love
My Ruby is the one that I treasure above any other
My Ruby is a car.






It Is Coming
by Hunter Red

It is coming
It is coming
I can feel it getting closer everyday
It's presence is becoming more evident

There are messages delivered to me
Messages of all kind, in all forms, from nearly all people
These messages are not personal
But they feel like they are personal to me

There are signs all around
Replacing other signs that sat for months
The people around me are preparing

Preparing for the thing that they look forward to
Preparing for the thing that I dread
Preparing themselves
Preparing those around them
Preparing
Preparing

The time is drawing nearer
And nearer
And nearer
Before you know it
It's here
It's here and I have to deal with it's presence
Not because I want to deal with it's presence
But because others obligate me to do so

The day is coming
The day of joyous celebration for most
And dreadful torture for others
It is coming
It is coming



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