Showing posts with label Keith Olbermann. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Keith Olbermann. Show all posts
Am I The Only One Who Remembers?
There are things that trigger my memories of my twenties. That time in my life when I was technically an adult but had none of the responsibilities of adulthood. My hair was short, my goatee was somewhat managed, my sense of style was anti-style, and my mornings were spent watching lots of cable television. Specifically I was watching this new phenomena called "Fox Sports Net". This was during the early days of Fox Sports Net when it featured a younger Keith Olbermann, a short lived version of TNA Impact, and a show hosted by Tom Arnold.
The Best Damn Sports Show Period. Am I the only one who remembers that we already had The View for sports?
"Quotes" About Boll
On Wednesday, August 28th, well known film director Uwe Boll launched a Kickstarter campaign to fund his upcoming film, Postal 2. The response to this Kickstarter campaign among video game fans was virulent, viscous, undeniably hostile, and, to be honest, banal.
Due to fact that this response was so lacking in originality as to be obvious and boring, I sought out comments from outside fans of video games.
Prominent movie critic Jeff Vice, pictured above on the left, said of this move, "It's good to see that this alleged director is no longer able to get funding for his half-baked, half-assed projects. Now, if only he would do us all the favor of GOING THE FUCK AWAY!"
When reached for comment, Utah Senator and Tea Party leader Mike Lee said "What does this have to do with the defunding of Obamacare?"
Fred Willard is quoted as saying, "As long as I can masturbate to it in the theater, I'm fine."
James Franco is quoted as saying, "As long as I can masturbate to it in the theater, I'm fine."
Roger Ebert could not be reach for comment due to death.
During an appearance at a nightclub in Toledo, Ohio, Amanda Bynes was quoted saying of the Kickstarter campaign, "LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
As of this writing, current ESPN personality Keith Olbermann is quoted as saying, "What's a Uwe Boll? Now, look at this picture of a sunset I took."
Bill O'Reilly, in response to the Uwe Boll story, is quoted as saying words that, as a liberal, I could honestly give a shit about.
As of this writing, radio personality Rush Limbaugh is quoted as saying, "Where the fuck are my pills!"
Finally, UFC fighter Chael Sonnen gave the following quote:
"This is an example of the free market at work. Kickstarter is allowing more and more small business people to step outside of the typical corporate model and into the true marketplace of ideas. I look forward to Mr. Boll's future endeavors, as well as the endeavors of other enterprising entrepreneurs. Also, if you see Wanderlei Silva, tell him that I am going to fuck him up."
Due to fact that this response was so lacking in originality as to be obvious and boring, I sought out comments from outside fans of video games.
Prominent movie critic Jeff Vice, pictured above on the left, said of this move, "It's good to see that this alleged director is no longer able to get funding for his half-baked, half-assed projects. Now, if only he would do us all the favor of GOING THE FUCK AWAY!"
When reached for comment, Utah Senator and Tea Party leader Mike Lee said "What does this have to do with the defunding of Obamacare?"
Fred Willard is quoted as saying, "As long as I can masturbate to it in the theater, I'm fine."
James Franco is quoted as saying, "As long as I can masturbate to it in the theater, I'm fine."
Roger Ebert could not be reach for comment due to death.
During an appearance at a nightclub in Toledo, Ohio, Amanda Bynes was quoted saying of the Kickstarter campaign, "LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
As of this writing, current ESPN personality Keith Olbermann is quoted as saying, "What's a Uwe Boll? Now, look at this picture of a sunset I took."
Bill O'Reilly, in response to the Uwe Boll story, is quoted as saying words that, as a liberal, I could honestly give a shit about.
As of this writing, radio personality Rush Limbaugh is quoted as saying, "Where the fuck are my pills!"
Finally, UFC fighter Chael Sonnen gave the following quote:
"This is an example of the free market at work. Kickstarter is allowing more and more small business people to step outside of the typical corporate model and into the true marketplace of ideas. I look forward to Mr. Boll's future endeavors, as well as the endeavors of other enterprising entrepreneurs. Also, if you see Wanderlei Silva, tell him that I am going to fuck him up."
Sweet Strawberry Sarsaparilla!
The Buffett
Two brothers, Keith and Glenn, are sitting in the office of their family business, a buffet style restaurant, discussing business. It is not going well.
Keith- I don't understand.
Glenn- Why are we losing our place in the world?
Keith- We need to think hard.
Glenn- To think smart.
Keith- We need to come up with a solution that will lead us back to prominence.
Glenn- Well, not back to prominence, because we are prominent. We need an idea that will keep us in our rightful place and crush the competition like so much insect underfoot.
The two brothers think for a moment.
Glenn- I wonder what grandpa would do.
Keith gets upset at this comment.
Keith- Oh no. Not this again.
Glenn- What?
Keith- This mindset. This way of thinking. This notion that we can solve all of our problems if we just do what grandpa would do in this situation.
Glenn- Hey, Grandpa Jefferson founded this buffet style restaurant. Through his hard work and agile mind, he built this business into what it was when our father took over. Our father left this restaurant in our hands, but we failed to live up to the legacy that this business had. We need to go back to the old style of business. We need to go back to the way things were run at our founding.
Keith takes a second to put his argument together.
Keith- Glenn, Grandpa Jefferson operated in his time. He built an institution that has stood the test of time, but he didn't do that by blindly sticking to the past. Grandpa Jefferson brought together the best ideas of the past, developed some new ones, and left enough room to allow for change when necessary. If Grandpa Jefferson had not developed a new way of business, a revolutionary way of business, he would have been overrun by that British place within months.
Glenn- True, but just because times have changed does not mean we should abandon our principals.
Keith- I am not proposing that.
Glenn- That's what it sounds like to me. To me, what you are proposing betrays the principals that our grandfather founded this restaurant on. Principals like letting the people decide what they want to eat, and what amounts of food they want to eat. Principals like letting the people be free to visit the buffet table as many times as they want, even if they visit the buffet table three, six, hell, even fifteen times if they so desire. And drinks! Have you even thought of drinks? The very drinks our grandfather loved and adored.
Keith- No, I love drinks as much as the next guy.
Glenn- Well, I don't believe you. I bet you can't even name Grandpa Jefferson's favorite soda, can ya!
Keith gets up from his chair in a huff.
Keith- It's Sweet Strawberry Sarsaparilla. The same kind of Sweet Strawberry Sarsaparilla we serve to this day! But we aren't talking about Sweet Strawberry Sarsaparilla, we're talking about keeping this buffet in business. If we don't start turning this place around, and do it fast, we're going to be taken over by that Chinese place across the street. Is that what you want?
Glenn contemplates what Keith has just said. Keith takes a deep breath and sits back down across from his brother.
Glenn- Perhaps we can make slight alterations. Not anything too drastic, we don't want to lose our loyal customers. Maybe something cosmetic. Like pulling out the carpets in favor of some hardwood flooring.
Keith- Some green hardwood flooring?
Glenn- No, regular hardwood is much cheaper. We could stay open later.
Keith- Yeah! The chinese place makes a killing late at night with the stoner community.
Glenn- I bet those pot heads would love Sweet Strawberry Sarsaparilla.
Keith- Of course, everybody loves Sweet Strawberry Sarsaparilla.
The two brothers continue discussing things, eventually coming to a common understanding about a way forward for their family business. The business flourishes once again, untill the Chinese place sees it as a threat and blows it up.
END SCENE
Red Impressions: Fable

Not too long ago, I started playing Fable. Not Fable 2 or Fable 3, the original Xbox release of Fable that I've owned since the game was released. I've tried playing this game several times in the past, but this time I was determined to play this game through so that I could go on to play the other games in this series which I have also owned since release. I tried this, I really sincerely did. I played Fable for about a week before I decided to stop.

I've been trying to figure out why I decided to stop playing Fable. I'm not an RPG hater, games like KotOR, Final Fantasy XII, and Mass Effect rank among my favorite games ever. Hell, I even named a character in The Hawk: Consequences Of Mayorust after two characters in Final Fantasy VIII. So why didn't Fable hook me like other RPGs? I think I know why.

I ran into a similar problem with Oblivion, which, while I still think is great, also didn't hook me in. It's not a problem you can avoid, this problem lies at the very essence of this game. Some would argue that the problem I have with Fable is this game's charm. The problem I have with Fable is all the medieval aspects in this game. The weaponry, the clothing, the cities, the speech, the chairs that people sit on, it's all medieval and I don't like it. Truth be told. outside of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I dislike anything with any medieval elements in them.

So, that is why I stopped playing Fable and probably will not be playing any other games in the Fable series. Perhaps if they drastically change the game environment, I might play Fable 4, but I doubt it. Hopefully, the game I play next will hook me in better. Let's take a look at Dragon Age Origins and see if that's possible.

Shit.
So, this is a real thing? Not a parody? Really?
The Events Of Friday
The first piece of this blog post, entitled "The Buffet", is a political satire about the debate going on about how we should be making decisions in America. It is a comment on how people on the left and the right side of the isle disagree on how relevant the feelings of America's founding fathers are to our governmental decisions. The grandfather referenced, named after Thomas Jefferson, is supposed to represent the founding fathers. The right wing stereotype was named after Glenn Beck, former host on Headline News and current Fox News host. The left wing stereotype was named after Keith Olbermann, who, as of Friday, former anchor and host on MSNBC.
I wrote "The Buffet" on Tuesday. It's based on an idea that I had over the previous weekend that I started to put together on Monday in it's current form. It is not meant to be a tribute to Keith Olbermann. I used Keith's name because he's one of the persons people think of when they think of a prominent liberal. It's who I think of when I think of a prominent liberal.
There are three shows that I value more than any other to give me my information of the world. The first is Radio From Hell. This radio show is proof to me that liberalism is alive and well in the state of Utah, even in the face of the very conservative people in power. The second is The Daily Show. Cable television shaped the person I am today, and The Daily Show is among those shows that shaped me. The third was Countdown with Keith Olbermann. Truthfully, Countdown shaped the way that I articulate myself as a liberal. I no longer go absolutely completely berserk about the things that conservatives do that aggravate me any more. I am calmer, more well reasoned now in my outrage. Countdown taught me the value of not saying that something is fucked up, but to show that thing and let the audience figure out that what they are seeing is fucked up.
And now it's gone. Now Countdown is gone, and a unanswered question still remains. Why? Why did this happen? Phil Griffin, President of MSNBC, tell us why. You should do this because we, the audience, are looking at this situation, asking the question why, and not getting an answer causes us to look at this situation and figure out what we are seeing.
Two brothers, Keith and Glenn, are sitting in the office of their family business, a buffet style restaurant, discussing business. It is not going well.
Keith- I don't understand.
Glenn- Why are we losing our place in the world?
Keith- We need to think hard.
Glenn- To think smart.
Keith- We need to come up with a solution that will lead us back to prominence.
Glenn- Well, not back to prominence, because we are prominent. We need an idea that will keep us in our rightful place and crush the competition like so much insect underfoot.
The two brothers think for a moment.
Glenn- I wonder what grandpa would do.
Keith gets upset at this comment.
Keith- Oh no. Not this again.
Glenn- What?
Keith- This mindset. This way of thinking. This notion that we can solve all of our problems if we just do what grandpa would do in this situation.
Glenn- Hey, Grandpa Jefferson founded this buffet style restaurant. Through his hard work and agile mind, he built this business into what it was when our father took over. Our father left this restaurant in our hands, but we failed to live up to the legacy that this business had. We need to go back to the old style of business. We need to go back to the way things were run at our founding.
Keith takes a second to put his argument together.
Keith- Glenn, Grandpa Jefferson operated in his time. He built an institution that has stood the test of time, but he didn't do that by blindly sticking to the past. Grandpa Jefferson brought together the best ideas of the past, developed some new ones, and left enough room to allow for change when necessary. If Grandpa Jefferson had not developed a new way of business, a revolutionary way of business, he would have been overrun by that British place within months.
Glenn- True, but just because times have changed does not mean we should abandon our principals.
Keith- I am not proposing that.
Glenn- That's what it sounds like to me. To me, what you are proposing betrays the principals that our grandfather founded this restaurant on. Principals like letting the people decide what they want to eat, and what amounts of food they want to eat. Principals like letting the people be free to visit the buffet table as many times as they want, even if they visit the buffet table three, six, hell, even fifteen times if they so desire. And drinks! Have you even thought of drinks? The very drinks our grandfather loved and adored.
Keith- No, I love drinks as much as the next guy.
Glenn- Well, I don't believe you. I bet you can't even name Grandpa Jefferson's favorite soda, can ya!
Keith gets up from his chair in a huff.
Keith- It's Sweet Strawberry Sarsaparilla. The same kind of Sweet Strawberry Sarsaparilla we serve to this day! But we aren't talking about Sweet Strawberry Sarsaparilla, we're talking about keeping this buffet in business. If we don't start turning this place around, and do it fast, we're going to be taken over by that Chinese place across the street. Is that what you want?
Glenn contemplates what Keith has just said. Keith takes a deep breath and sits back down across from his brother.
Glenn- Perhaps we can make slight alterations. Not anything too drastic, we don't want to lose our loyal customers. Maybe something cosmetic. Like pulling out the carpets in favor of some hardwood flooring.
Keith- Some green hardwood flooring?
Glenn- No, regular hardwood is much cheaper. We could stay open later.
Keith- Yeah! The chinese place makes a killing late at night with the stoner community.
Glenn- I bet those pot heads would love Sweet Strawberry Sarsaparilla.
Keith- Of course, everybody loves Sweet Strawberry Sarsaparilla.
The two brothers continue discussing things, eventually coming to a common understanding about a way forward for their family business. The business flourishes once again, untill the Chinese place sees it as a threat and blows it up.
END SCENE
Red Impressions: Fable

Not too long ago, I started playing Fable. Not Fable 2 or Fable 3, the original Xbox release of Fable that I've owned since the game was released. I've tried playing this game several times in the past, but this time I was determined to play this game through so that I could go on to play the other games in this series which I have also owned since release. I tried this, I really sincerely did. I played Fable for about a week before I decided to stop.

I've been trying to figure out why I decided to stop playing Fable. I'm not an RPG hater, games like KotOR, Final Fantasy XII, and Mass Effect rank among my favorite games ever. Hell, I even named a character in The Hawk: Consequences Of Mayorust after two characters in Final Fantasy VIII. So why didn't Fable hook me like other RPGs? I think I know why.

I ran into a similar problem with Oblivion, which, while I still think is great, also didn't hook me in. It's not a problem you can avoid, this problem lies at the very essence of this game. Some would argue that the problem I have with Fable is this game's charm. The problem I have with Fable is all the medieval aspects in this game. The weaponry, the clothing, the cities, the speech, the chairs that people sit on, it's all medieval and I don't like it. Truth be told. outside of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I dislike anything with any medieval elements in them.

So, that is why I stopped playing Fable and probably will not be playing any other games in the Fable series. Perhaps if they drastically change the game environment, I might play Fable 4, but I doubt it. Hopefully, the game I play next will hook me in better. Let's take a look at Dragon Age Origins and see if that's possible.

Shit.
So, this is a real thing? Not a parody? Really?
The Events Of Friday
The first piece of this blog post, entitled "The Buffet", is a political satire about the debate going on about how we should be making decisions in America. It is a comment on how people on the left and the right side of the isle disagree on how relevant the feelings of America's founding fathers are to our governmental decisions. The grandfather referenced, named after Thomas Jefferson, is supposed to represent the founding fathers. The right wing stereotype was named after Glenn Beck, former host on Headline News and current Fox News host. The left wing stereotype was named after Keith Olbermann, who, as of Friday, former anchor and host on MSNBC.
Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
I wrote "The Buffet" on Tuesday. It's based on an idea that I had over the previous weekend that I started to put together on Monday in it's current form. It is not meant to be a tribute to Keith Olbermann. I used Keith's name because he's one of the persons people think of when they think of a prominent liberal. It's who I think of when I think of a prominent liberal.
There are three shows that I value more than any other to give me my information of the world. The first is Radio From Hell. This radio show is proof to me that liberalism is alive and well in the state of Utah, even in the face of the very conservative people in power. The second is The Daily Show. Cable television shaped the person I am today, and The Daily Show is among those shows that shaped me. The third was Countdown with Keith Olbermann. Truthfully, Countdown shaped the way that I articulate myself as a liberal. I no longer go absolutely completely berserk about the things that conservatives do that aggravate me any more. I am calmer, more well reasoned now in my outrage. Countdown taught me the value of not saying that something is fucked up, but to show that thing and let the audience figure out that what they are seeing is fucked up.
And now it's gone. Now Countdown is gone, and a unanswered question still remains. Why? Why did this happen? Phil Griffin, President of MSNBC, tell us why. You should do this because we, the audience, are looking at this situation, asking the question why, and not getting an answer causes us to look at this situation and figure out what we are seeing.
Notes From Rehab 3: Glorious Junk
Red Appearances
I recently bought Marcus- The Hand That Feeds at one of Marcus' shows. I went to the taping of this comedy special in March. Marcus, who was running concessions for himself, told me that I make an appearance in one of the crowd shots on this DVD. This excited me. So I watched this very fine comedy special and documented my various appearances. I do this because I am completely vain.
At 0:56:12, there is a camera pan of the crowd. In the upper part, between a guy in a baseball cap and a guy in a white shirt, there's a guy in a white shirt with red sleeves. That's me in my Dead Pixel Live shirt. If you can recognize me, you get a cookie.
At 1:12:53, I appear laughing at Marcus' joke about him not knowing about the latest social network thing. Then I stroke my goatee. I am baffled as to why I stroked my goatee. If you can explain to me why I stroked my goatee at that moment, you get a cookie.
At 1:21:20, a slow zoom out of the crowd begins, first focusing on two guys wearing hats, and, as it pulls out, moving slowly right. At 1:21:23, I come into frame. Again, red sleeves, Dead Pixel Live T-Shirt, this time you can see the watch I wear on my right hand. No goatee stroking this time.
At 1:48:44, right near the end, there's a pan of the audience. I'm close to the middle of the beginning of this shot. No goatee stroking, just big hair.
That is all. By the way, go see Marcus because he is very much good. Also, buy his stuff because it is very much good. Finally, eat some Brussel sprouts, because they are very much good.
Fun With Government Debt!
I found out about this on Monday and started playing around with it. It's quite interesting. I challenge you to balance the deficit without raising taxes. It's quite difficult.
Budget Puzzle: You Fix the Budget
24 Hours?

I started thinking about this when the whole Daily Show/MSNBC/False Equivalency thing started being tossed around. This came up when, at the Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear, Jon Stewart equated Fox News to MSNBC. The people at MSNBC, most prominently Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow, didn't like this comparison.
This discussion caused me to ask the following question: Do we have twenty-four hour news stations any more? The answer is no. What we have is stations that run opinion based entertainment programs during the time designated as "prime time", then run filler for the rest of the day.
For a long time we did. It wasn't MSNBC, or Fox News, or CNN that filled this role, it was Headline News. However, a couple of years ago, even Headline News started airing shows like Glenn Beck and Nancy Grace. Whether it's The Rachel Maddow Show, Hannity, or Parker/Spitzer, every station that touts itself as a twenty-four hour news station has opinion based entertainment programs.
There's a part of me that mourns the loss of the true twenty-four hour news station. I used to be able to turn on Headline News if I wanted to get a sense of what was going on right now. If I had heard a snippet of a national news story and wanted to get more info, I could go to MSNBC and get that info. Hell, I could even go to CNN to get the score from last night's Atlanta Braves game. Now, if I want that information, I have to go online. Perhaps that is the reason why the twenty-four hour news station has gone away. If I can quickly, and easily, get up to the second news on my laptop, iPad, cellphone, or any other web enabled device, why should I wait for the update from the TV news outlet that may be hours old? Perhaps the former twenty-four hour news stations are evolving to meet the current desires of it's audience. If only newspapers could evolve in such a manner. Then we could get a weekly column from Glenn Beck entitled "The Liberal Menace!"

Explicit Colours!

Among the games released alongside the launch of the Xbox 360 Kinect was Kinect Joyride. In this game, you can choose the colour of the car you drive. The way this is done is the Kinect camera looks at it's field of vision and asks the player to choose an object in that field of vision to base the colour off of. Based on statistics gathered by the Neilson Ratings Group, here is the top five colours chosen by the players of Kinect Joyride.
#5- Back Of An iPod Silver
#4- Notebook Paper White
#3- Outside Of The PS3 Black
#2- Mountain Dew Green
And the number one colour-
#1- Penis Pink
Glorious Junk!

Hello, I am Anthony Severe. Recently a big deal was made of the new guidelines put in place by the Transportation Security Administration. Namely all these panty wasted liberals are complaining about the full body scanners and the enhanced pat downs that are currently being implemented by TSA officials.

I personally don't have a problem with these new security guidelines. This is because I have glorious junk. I have the kind of junk that women want to experience and men want to have attached to them. You know all those emails you get offering you pills to increase your size? You are attempting to obtain the glory that I as graced by God to have.

I don't even mind the full body pat downs that involve men running their hands up my leg and brushing against my private area. This is because I know that once this guy touches my glorious junk, that man will become jealous of my glorious junk. They will recoil in fear of my glorious junk and not be drawn to it in the manner that many, MANY, women are drawn to my glorious junk.

Because I am a true conservative with glorious junk, I know the true reason why people are making a big deal of the new TSA security guidelines. The reason is that they are filthy stinking liberals who shouldn't be allowed in decent society, and that they have teeny, tiny, micro penises. They feel inadequate because of their teeny, tiny, micro penises and therefore feel the need to ruin the party for all of us with glorious junk. Again, I HAVE GLORIOUS JUNK!

The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards: Nomination Special

Hello! Anthony Severe here, picking up the slack for Hunter Red, who is still in a rehabilitation facility in Park City, Utah. The time has come for the process to start for The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards. The nomination process is now open, and you the reader can participate! Simply submit your winner in any, or all, of the catagories listed below. You can even submit the reason why you think your choice should win. Nominations for The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards will close on Monday, December 20th, with the award ceremony scheduled for Monday, December 27th. You can submit your winner to the following places:
Twitter: @Redertainment
Facebook: Send a message to Hunter Red
Email: redertainment@live.com
Or submit a comment or reply wherever you are reading this.
Award Categories
Game Of The Year
Xbox 360 Game Of The Year
Playstation 3 Game Of The Year
Nintendo Wii Game Of The Year
Downloadable Game Of The Year
Biggest Gaming Disappointment Of The Year
Best New IP Of The Year
Non-Gaming Thing Most Deserving Of An Award
I recently bought Marcus- The Hand That Feeds at one of Marcus' shows. I went to the taping of this comedy special in March. Marcus, who was running concessions for himself, told me that I make an appearance in one of the crowd shots on this DVD. This excited me. So I watched this very fine comedy special and documented my various appearances. I do this because I am completely vain.
At 0:56:12, there is a camera pan of the crowd. In the upper part, between a guy in a baseball cap and a guy in a white shirt, there's a guy in a white shirt with red sleeves. That's me in my Dead Pixel Live shirt. If you can recognize me, you get a cookie.
At 1:12:53, I appear laughing at Marcus' joke about him not knowing about the latest social network thing. Then I stroke my goatee. I am baffled as to why I stroked my goatee. If you can explain to me why I stroked my goatee at that moment, you get a cookie.
At 1:21:20, a slow zoom out of the crowd begins, first focusing on two guys wearing hats, and, as it pulls out, moving slowly right. At 1:21:23, I come into frame. Again, red sleeves, Dead Pixel Live T-Shirt, this time you can see the watch I wear on my right hand. No goatee stroking this time.
At 1:48:44, right near the end, there's a pan of the audience. I'm close to the middle of the beginning of this shot. No goatee stroking, just big hair.
That is all. By the way, go see Marcus because he is very much good. Also, buy his stuff because it is very much good. Finally, eat some Brussel sprouts, because they are very much good.
Fun With Government Debt!
I found out about this on Monday and started playing around with it. It's quite interesting. I challenge you to balance the deficit without raising taxes. It's quite difficult.
Budget Puzzle: You Fix the Budget
24 Hours?

I started thinking about this when the whole Daily Show/MSNBC/False Equivalency thing started being tossed around. This came up when, at the Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear, Jon Stewart equated Fox News to MSNBC. The people at MSNBC, most prominently Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow, didn't like this comparison.
This discussion caused me to ask the following question: Do we have twenty-four hour news stations any more? The answer is no. What we have is stations that run opinion based entertainment programs during the time designated as "prime time", then run filler for the rest of the day.
For a long time we did. It wasn't MSNBC, or Fox News, or CNN that filled this role, it was Headline News. However, a couple of years ago, even Headline News started airing shows like Glenn Beck and Nancy Grace. Whether it's The Rachel Maddow Show, Hannity, or Parker/Spitzer, every station that touts itself as a twenty-four hour news station has opinion based entertainment programs.
There's a part of me that mourns the loss of the true twenty-four hour news station. I used to be able to turn on Headline News if I wanted to get a sense of what was going on right now. If I had heard a snippet of a national news story and wanted to get more info, I could go to MSNBC and get that info. Hell, I could even go to CNN to get the score from last night's Atlanta Braves game. Now, if I want that information, I have to go online. Perhaps that is the reason why the twenty-four hour news station has gone away. If I can quickly, and easily, get up to the second news on my laptop, iPad, cellphone, or any other web enabled device, why should I wait for the update from the TV news outlet that may be hours old? Perhaps the former twenty-four hour news stations are evolving to meet the current desires of it's audience. If only newspapers could evolve in such a manner. Then we could get a weekly column from Glenn Beck entitled "The Liberal Menace!"

Explicit Colours!

Among the games released alongside the launch of the Xbox 360 Kinect was Kinect Joyride. In this game, you can choose the colour of the car you drive. The way this is done is the Kinect camera looks at it's field of vision and asks the player to choose an object in that field of vision to base the colour off of. Based on statistics gathered by the Neilson Ratings Group, here is the top five colours chosen by the players of Kinect Joyride.
#5- Back Of An iPod Silver
#4- Notebook Paper White
#3- Outside Of The PS3 Black
#2- Mountain Dew Green
And the number one colour-
#1- Penis Pink
Glorious Junk!

Hello, I am Anthony Severe. Recently a big deal was made of the new guidelines put in place by the Transportation Security Administration. Namely all these panty wasted liberals are complaining about the full body scanners and the enhanced pat downs that are currently being implemented by TSA officials.

I personally don't have a problem with these new security guidelines. This is because I have glorious junk. I have the kind of junk that women want to experience and men want to have attached to them. You know all those emails you get offering you pills to increase your size? You are attempting to obtain the glory that I as graced by God to have.

I don't even mind the full body pat downs that involve men running their hands up my leg and brushing against my private area. This is because I know that once this guy touches my glorious junk, that man will become jealous of my glorious junk. They will recoil in fear of my glorious junk and not be drawn to it in the manner that many, MANY, women are drawn to my glorious junk.

Because I am a true conservative with glorious junk, I know the true reason why people are making a big deal of the new TSA security guidelines. The reason is that they are filthy stinking liberals who shouldn't be allowed in decent society, and that they have teeny, tiny, micro penises. They feel inadequate because of their teeny, tiny, micro penises and therefore feel the need to ruin the party for all of us with glorious junk. Again, I HAVE GLORIOUS JUNK!

The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards: Nomination Special

Hello! Anthony Severe here, picking up the slack for Hunter Red, who is still in a rehabilitation facility in Park City, Utah. The time has come for the process to start for The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards. The nomination process is now open, and you the reader can participate! Simply submit your winner in any, or all, of the catagories listed below. You can even submit the reason why you think your choice should win. Nominations for The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards will close on Monday, December 20th, with the award ceremony scheduled for Monday, December 27th. You can submit your winner to the following places:
Twitter: @Redertainment
Facebook: Send a message to Hunter Red
Email: redertainment@live.com
Or submit a comment or reply wherever you are reading this.
Award Categories
Game Of The Year
Xbox 360 Game Of The Year
Playstation 3 Game Of The Year
Nintendo Wii Game Of The Year
Downloadable Game Of The Year
Biggest Gaming Disappointment Of The Year
Best New IP Of The Year
Non-Gaming Thing Most Deserving Of An Award
Notes From Rehab 2
Another Liberal Suspended

In response to reports on salon.com of his remnant alcohol use and frequent in-office plant urination, The Redertainment Corporation Of America has announced the indefinate suspension of liberal satirist and general loudmouth Hunter Red.

Rodger Red, President of The Redertainment Corporation Of America, released the following statement:
"When the reports of Mr. Red's flagrant rule braking hit the internet, we knew we had to take action. We hold our employees to the highest of standards, and if we find anyone has broken that standard, we act swiftly to bring that employee back in line.
It is unknown how long Hunter Red's suspension will last. It may last days, it may last weeks, it may even be permeant.
Only Imagine
I can imagine being in love.
I can imagine meeting someone,
Dating someone,
Developing a relationship with someone,
Becoming intimate, on many levels with someone,
Giving my heart to someone,
In turn, receiving the heart of someone,
Living for someone,
Having my day revolve around someone,
Becoming a more complete person, more than I could have become alone, thanks to that someone.
I can imagine being in love.
I can imagine.
I can only imagine.
Only imagine.
2 Business Days Later

The Redertainment Corporation Of America is proud to announce the end of the suspension of Hunter Red, and his return to work starting Tuesday. When reached for comment about his, Mr. Red said:
"What? What suspension? I'm in fucking rehab, you god damn moron! Now, go away! I'm trying to balance my motherfucking chi."

Exactly!
Noxee

On Thursday I received my Boxee Box. The Boxee Box is supposed to be a device that pulls TV shows from many different websites (Hulu, Fox, CBS, ABC, Netflix, etc.) and put it on my TV. I bought because I find the concept of putting internet television on my HDTV.

Setting up the Boxee Box is really easy. Plug the power plug in, connect via a HDMI cable, connect to your wireless network, and you're ready to go. I went through my current Hulu subscriptions, found those programs on Boxee (most of them), and put episodes from those shows in my Boxee queue. I also found episodes of South Park and How I Met Your Mother on Boxee.

I tried watching South Park, the last of the three part Mysterion episodes, and it worked well, but I couldn't reverse or fast forward very well. Then I tried watching the Family Guy Halloween episode, and it didn't work. I tried watching an episode of House, and Terriers, and Fringe, and Skins, and The Inbetweeners, and How I Met Your Mother with no success. In summation, the only show I was able to watch somewhat effectively is South Park.

I thought that maybe this was the Boxee service as it currently is, not the service I played around with when it was first in beta. So I launched the Boxee program that is on my laptop. I found that you can play programming from Fox's online service, and USA's online service. So there is probably a difference between what is allowed to be on the Boxee Box and the Boxee service on PC.

I paid $200 for the Boxee Box. I paid extra for one day shipping. I was eagerly anticipating receiving my Boxee Box and experiencing the glory that is internet television on the glory that is my HDTV. I am now questioning why I bought this thing. It does not currently work as advertised. I am told that the people behind Boxee are working on workarounds to allow more content to be viewable on the Boxee Box, however I find that unacceptable. If my Xbox 360 didn't work as advertised when I took it out of the box, I would have seen it as a waste of my hard earned money. Therefore, the Boxee Box is currently a waste of my hard earned money. I want this to not be the case, and I look forward to utilizing my Boxee Box more like how it was advertised, after all, I PAID $200 FOR THIS THING!
Starting on December 3rd, and following every Friday untill Christmas Eve, staves of The Black Robin Christmas Carol will be posted as regular blog posts on redertainment.com. That is all.
The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards: Nomination Special

Hello! Anthony Severe here, picking up the slack for Hunter Red, who is still in a rehabilitation facility in Park City, Utah. The time has come for the process to start for The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards. The nomination process is now open, and you the reader can participate! Simply submit your winner in any, or all, of the catagories listed below. You can even submit the reason why you think your choice should win. Nominations for The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards will close on Monday, December 20th, with the award ceremony scheduled for Monday, December 27th. You can submit your winner to the following places:
Twitter: @Redertainment
Facebook: Send a message to Hunter Red
Email: redertainment@live.com
Or submit a comment or reply wherever you are reading this.
Award Categories
Game Of The Year
Xbox 360 Game Of The Year
Playstation 3 Game Of The Year
Nintendo Wii Game Of The Year
Downloadable Game Of The Year
Biggest Gaming Disappointment Of The Year
Best New IP Of The Year
Non-Gaming Thing Most Deserving Of An Award

In response to reports on salon.com of his remnant alcohol use and frequent in-office plant urination, The Redertainment Corporation Of America has announced the indefinate suspension of liberal satirist and general loudmouth Hunter Red.

Rodger Red, President of The Redertainment Corporation Of America, released the following statement:
"When the reports of Mr. Red's flagrant rule braking hit the internet, we knew we had to take action. We hold our employees to the highest of standards, and if we find anyone has broken that standard, we act swiftly to bring that employee back in line.
It is unknown how long Hunter Red's suspension will last. It may last days, it may last weeks, it may even be permeant.
Only Imagine
I can imagine being in love.
I can imagine meeting someone,
Dating someone,
Developing a relationship with someone,
Becoming intimate, on many levels with someone,
Giving my heart to someone,
In turn, receiving the heart of someone,
Living for someone,
Having my day revolve around someone,
Becoming a more complete person, more than I could have become alone, thanks to that someone.
I can imagine being in love.
I can imagine.
I can only imagine.
Only imagine.
2 Business Days Later

The Redertainment Corporation Of America is proud to announce the end of the suspension of Hunter Red, and his return to work starting Tuesday. When reached for comment about his, Mr. Red said:
"What? What suspension? I'm in fucking rehab, you god damn moron! Now, go away! I'm trying to balance my motherfucking chi."

Exactly!
Noxee

On Thursday I received my Boxee Box. The Boxee Box is supposed to be a device that pulls TV shows from many different websites (Hulu, Fox, CBS, ABC, Netflix, etc.) and put it on my TV. I bought because I find the concept of putting internet television on my HDTV.

Setting up the Boxee Box is really easy. Plug the power plug in, connect via a HDMI cable, connect to your wireless network, and you're ready to go. I went through my current Hulu subscriptions, found those programs on Boxee (most of them), and put episodes from those shows in my Boxee queue. I also found episodes of South Park and How I Met Your Mother on Boxee.

I tried watching South Park, the last of the three part Mysterion episodes, and it worked well, but I couldn't reverse or fast forward very well. Then I tried watching the Family Guy Halloween episode, and it didn't work. I tried watching an episode of House, and Terriers, and Fringe, and Skins, and The Inbetweeners, and How I Met Your Mother with no success. In summation, the only show I was able to watch somewhat effectively is South Park.

I thought that maybe this was the Boxee service as it currently is, not the service I played around with when it was first in beta. So I launched the Boxee program that is on my laptop. I found that you can play programming from Fox's online service, and USA's online service. So there is probably a difference between what is allowed to be on the Boxee Box and the Boxee service on PC.

I paid $200 for the Boxee Box. I paid extra for one day shipping. I was eagerly anticipating receiving my Boxee Box and experiencing the glory that is internet television on the glory that is my HDTV. I am now questioning why I bought this thing. It does not currently work as advertised. I am told that the people behind Boxee are working on workarounds to allow more content to be viewable on the Boxee Box, however I find that unacceptable. If my Xbox 360 didn't work as advertised when I took it out of the box, I would have seen it as a waste of my hard earned money. Therefore, the Boxee Box is currently a waste of my hard earned money. I want this to not be the case, and I look forward to utilizing my Boxee Box more like how it was advertised, after all, I PAID $200 FOR THIS THING!
Starting on December 3rd, and following every Friday untill Christmas Eve, staves of The Black Robin Christmas Carol will be posted as regular blog posts on redertainment.com. That is all.
The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards: Nomination Special

Hello! Anthony Severe here, picking up the slack for Hunter Red, who is still in a rehabilitation facility in Park City, Utah. The time has come for the process to start for The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards. The nomination process is now open, and you the reader can participate! Simply submit your winner in any, or all, of the catagories listed below. You can even submit the reason why you think your choice should win. Nominations for The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards will close on Monday, December 20th, with the award ceremony scheduled for Monday, December 27th. You can submit your winner to the following places:
Twitter: @Redertainment
Facebook: Send a message to Hunter Red
Email: redertainment@live.com
Or submit a comment or reply wherever you are reading this.
Award Categories
Game Of The Year
Xbox 360 Game Of The Year
Playstation 3 Game Of The Year
Nintendo Wii Game Of The Year
Downloadable Game Of The Year
Biggest Gaming Disappointment Of The Year
Best New IP Of The Year
Non-Gaming Thing Most Deserving Of An Award
Red Taunts You. Yes, YOU!
The Setup


Hunter is sitting in his office, wading through the massive amount of hate mail he received as a result of Capital Bush, when Rodger Red walks in.
Rodger- Hunter.
Hunter- Rodger.
Rodger- Good day so far?
Hunter- Can't complain.
Rodger- Well, prepare for me to ruin it.
Hunter- Are you going to punch my fiance in the face again?
Rodger- No, I'm removing you from that quiz show you host.
Hunter- The Insert Absurdly High Dollar Amount Here Question
Rodger- Yes.
Hunter- Okay.
There is a short pause.
Rodger- Don't you want to know why?
Hunter- No.
There is a short pause.
Rodger- Don't you want to know who I'm replacing you with?
Hunter- Not particularly.
There is a short pause.
Rodger- I'm replacing you with Anthony Severe.
Hunter responds angrily to this.
Hunter- Anthony Severe? Are you kidding me! That conservative asshole?
Rodger- Yep.
Hunter- Why would he make a better host of a quiz show than me?
Rodger- He owns a suit.
Hunter- So do I.
Rodger- A good looking suit.
Hunter- I could own a good looking suit.
Rodger- I sincerely doubt that.
Hunter- I guess you're right.
Hunter goes back to work as Rodger continues to stand in the doorway. There is a short pause.
Rodger- Don't you want to know who his first contestant is.
Hunter- No.
Rodger- I bet you'll like him.
Hunter- I doubt it.
Rodger- It's you.
Hunter- I hear that guy's an asshole.
Rodger- I can't say as I disagree with that assessment.
Rodger leaves Hunter's office as Hunter continues to work. Moments later, Hunter realizes what Rodger just said.
Hunter- Does that mean I have to buy a suit?
END SCENE
The Act Review

The Act is an arcade video game produced by Cecropia in the United States in 2007. The game is a unique interactive cartoon featuring the hand-drawn art of a number of former Disney animators. It was test-marketed in selected locations throughout North America in 2006, and it received generally favorable press coverage. However, the game was canceled in late 2007, and Cecropia shut its doors in early 2008. Prior to closing, Cecropia auctioned off 10 kits of the game on eBay. The kits used were Intel-powered PCs that featured a custom made JAMMA-to-PC I/O board. Other kits that were produced (40 in total) were given to members of Cecropia's staff. Also two dedicated cabinets were sold to the public, these cabinets having been used to location test the game. Most kits ended up in the hands of private collectors while at least one ended up in an arcade in Utah. This arcade is Game Grid.

Game Grid is a small arcade located in a suburban mall. Along with The Act, Game Grid also offers Terminator: Salvation, a light gun rail shooter, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, an arcade racer based on the movie of the same name, as well as several classic arcade titles. Game Grid is located inside the suburban mall next to a store that sells board games and brain teasers and a store that sells churros.

Why is any of this relevant? Game Grid is located inside Valley Fair Mall in West Valley City, Utah. Valley Fair Mall is approximately five and a half miles from my house. On Monday, September 20th, 2010 I played The Act. On Monday, September 20th, 2010, I beat The Act. On Monday, September 20th, 2010, I played a game that the vast majority of the gaming public has not played, and I beat it. On Monday, September 20th, 2010, I did something that you didn't.

The Act is a fun, challenging, and different gaming experiences, that I have experienced and you haven't. The Act is the kind of game that can get people who strive for unique gaming experiences into the arcades. These arcades include the arcade that I played this game in AND YOU DIDN'T. The Act is the kind of game that should be more of in the gaming world. But, since there isn't, I will continue to be able to taunt you with things that I have done and you have not.
The Act: A+
Quiz Show with Anthony Severe
An overblown light display and cheesy, borderline annoying instrumental theme is triggered, eventually revealing a man in a really good looking suit, pictures below, sitting on a raised platform on a soundstage.

Anthony- Good evening. I am Anthony Severe, the new host of the 9.0634 Million Dollar Question. We'll bring out our contestant in just a moment, but first a word form our sponsor.

A video is show of the man pictured above saying "I hate you all."
Anthony- Welcome back. Our contestant tonight is an asshole from West Valley City, Utah. Please welcome Hunter Red.
Canned applause is played as Hunter Red walks out to the stage and takes a seat next to Anthony.
Anthony- Mr. Red, it must be a pleasure to be here.
Hunter- It is, although I believe you were mistaken about my occupation.
Anthony- Come again?
Hunter- You said I worked as an asshole.
Anthony- No, I said you were an asshole. The only person who can find work as an asshole is Keith Olbermann.
Genuine laughter is heard.
Anthony- Let's begin the game.
An overblown light display and cheesy, borderline annoying instrumental theme is triggered, ending up in nothing much changing.
Anthony- Question One: Who is the current career points leader in the National Basketball Association? A: Kareem Abdul Jabbar B: Karl Malone C: Hakeem Olajuwon D: Kobe Bryant
Hunter thinks for a second.
Hunter- The answer is A.
Anthony- No, I'm sorry, the correct response is A, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Hunter- But I said A.
Anthony- No, you said, "A liberal screed where you quoted boisterous lesbian Rachel Maddow." So sorry. Next question.
Hunter- I got that first question-
Anthony- Next question!
An overblown light displayed and cheesy, borderline annoying instrumental theme is triggered, ending up in nothing much changing.
Anthony- Who won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction in 2010. A: Elizabeth Strout for Olive Kitteridge B: Paul Harding for Tinkers C: Lydia Millet for Life in Infant Monkeys D: Lore Segal for Shakespeare's Kitchen
Hunter thinks for a moment.
Hunter- The answer is B.
Anthony- No, I'm sorry, the answer is B, Paul Harding
Hunter- I said B.
Anthony- No, you said, "Bush is a Nazi. I'd like to tear off his head and shit down his throat."
Hunter- I'd never say anything like that.
Anthony- You are a liberal. Next question!
An overblown light display and cheesy, borderline annoying instrumental theme is triggered, ending up in nothing much changing.
Anthony- Who is the current Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. A: Tony Blair B: Gordon Brown C: David Cameron D: Eddie Izzard
Hunter thinks for a moment.
Hunter- The answer is C.
Anthony- No, I'm sorry, the answer is C, David Cameron.
Hunter- I just fucking said C.
Anthony- No, what you said was, "Cocksucking is an enjoyable activity, frequented by me, and all other men who support gay rights."
Hunter- Not only is that wrong, it is patently offensive.
Anthony- No it isn't.
Hunter- Yes it is!
Anthony- I am a conservative, I am perpetually right! Next question.
An overblown light display and cheesy, borderline annoying instrumental theme is triggered, ending up in nothing much changing.
Anthony- Which NBA franchise is LeBron James currently signed to? A: Cleveland Cavilers B: New York Knicks C: Utah Jazz D: Miami Heat
Hunter doesn't think over this question, but instead shoots Anthony an absolutely filthy look.
Hunter- I know what answer you want, and I am more than prepared to give it to you.
Anthony- That's what she said.
Hunter- The answer is Democrats are the only party that should have any power in the government. Furthermore, Democrats are the only party that should exist.
Anthony is shocked by this comment.
Anthony- I am shocked and appalled by that comment.
Correction: Anthony is both shocked and appalled by that comment.
Anthony- That is most certainly not the answer. The answer is D, the Miami Heat.
Hunter- But I thought that the response I gave is the response you wanted.
Anthony- Why would I want to hear a liberal and borderline facets screed?
Hunter- That's it.
Hunter pulls out a handgun out of his pocket and points it at Anthony.
Anthony- He's pointing a gun at me!
Hunter- I am exercising my Second Amendment rights.
Anthony- By pointing a gun at me!
Hunter- No, I'm pointing a gun at a point beyond you.
Anthony- What point is that?
Hunter- The monitor sitting directly behind you with a picture of a person I really despise at the moment on it.
Anthony- Who's picture is that?
Hunter- Yours.
Anthony is puzzled by this.
Anthony- So, should I move?
Hunter- Unless you want me to shoot you while I am shooting you.
Anthony gets out of his chair and steps away while Hunter fires his handgun. Hunter hits the monitor, causing the monitor to be destroyed in a manner that includes a spectacular explosion. The explosion receives thunderous applause from the audience. Anthony sits back down in his chair and attempts to bring the program to a close.
Anthony- Well, that's all the time we have for The 9.0634 Million Dollar Question. I am Anthony Severe, remind you that liberalism is like polio. A disease that will soon be eradicated through the dedicated work of scientists- I mean creationists. See you next time.
The light begin to dim on the stage as Anthony Severe runs for his life.
END SCENE


Hunter is sitting in his office, wading through the massive amount of hate mail he received as a result of Capital Bush, when Rodger Red walks in.
Rodger- Hunter.
Hunter- Rodger.
Rodger- Good day so far?
Hunter- Can't complain.
Rodger- Well, prepare for me to ruin it.
Hunter- Are you going to punch my fiance in the face again?
Rodger- No, I'm removing you from that quiz show you host.
Hunter- The Insert Absurdly High Dollar Amount Here Question
Rodger- Yes.
Hunter- Okay.
There is a short pause.
Rodger- Don't you want to know why?
Hunter- No.
There is a short pause.
Rodger- Don't you want to know who I'm replacing you with?
Hunter- Not particularly.
There is a short pause.
Rodger- I'm replacing you with Anthony Severe.
Hunter responds angrily to this.
Hunter- Anthony Severe? Are you kidding me! That conservative asshole?
Rodger- Yep.
Hunter- Why would he make a better host of a quiz show than me?
Rodger- He owns a suit.
Hunter- So do I.
Rodger- A good looking suit.
Hunter- I could own a good looking suit.
Rodger- I sincerely doubt that.
Hunter- I guess you're right.
Hunter goes back to work as Rodger continues to stand in the doorway. There is a short pause.
Rodger- Don't you want to know who his first contestant is.
Hunter- No.
Rodger- I bet you'll like him.
Hunter- I doubt it.
Rodger- It's you.
Hunter- I hear that guy's an asshole.
Rodger- I can't say as I disagree with that assessment.
Rodger leaves Hunter's office as Hunter continues to work. Moments later, Hunter realizes what Rodger just said.
Hunter- Does that mean I have to buy a suit?
END SCENE
The Act Review
The Act is an arcade video game produced by Cecropia in the United States in 2007. The game is a unique interactive cartoon featuring the hand-drawn art of a number of former Disney animators. It was test-marketed in selected locations throughout North America in 2006, and it received generally favorable press coverage. However, the game was canceled in late 2007, and Cecropia shut its doors in early 2008. Prior to closing, Cecropia auctioned off 10 kits of the game on eBay. The kits used were Intel-powered PCs that featured a custom made JAMMA-to-PC I/O board. Other kits that were produced (40 in total) were given to members of Cecropia's staff. Also two dedicated cabinets were sold to the public, these cabinets having been used to location test the game. Most kits ended up in the hands of private collectors while at least one ended up in an arcade in Utah. This arcade is Game Grid.

Game Grid is a small arcade located in a suburban mall. Along with The Act, Game Grid also offers Terminator: Salvation, a light gun rail shooter, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, an arcade racer based on the movie of the same name, as well as several classic arcade titles. Game Grid is located inside the suburban mall next to a store that sells board games and brain teasers and a store that sells churros.
Why is any of this relevant? Game Grid is located inside Valley Fair Mall in West Valley City, Utah. Valley Fair Mall is approximately five and a half miles from my house. On Monday, September 20th, 2010 I played The Act. On Monday, September 20th, 2010, I beat The Act. On Monday, September 20th, 2010, I played a game that the vast majority of the gaming public has not played, and I beat it. On Monday, September 20th, 2010, I did something that you didn't.

The Act is a fun, challenging, and different gaming experiences, that I have experienced and you haven't. The Act is the kind of game that can get people who strive for unique gaming experiences into the arcades. These arcades include the arcade that I played this game in AND YOU DIDN'T. The Act is the kind of game that should be more of in the gaming world. But, since there isn't, I will continue to be able to taunt you with things that I have done and you have not.
The Act: A+
Quiz Show with Anthony Severe
An overblown light display and cheesy, borderline annoying instrumental theme is triggered, eventually revealing a man in a really good looking suit, pictures below, sitting on a raised platform on a soundstage.

Anthony- Good evening. I am Anthony Severe, the new host of the 9.0634 Million Dollar Question. We'll bring out our contestant in just a moment, but first a word form our sponsor.

A video is show of the man pictured above saying "I hate you all."
Anthony- Welcome back. Our contestant tonight is an asshole from West Valley City, Utah. Please welcome Hunter Red.
Canned applause is played as Hunter Red walks out to the stage and takes a seat next to Anthony.
Anthony- Mr. Red, it must be a pleasure to be here.
Hunter- It is, although I believe you were mistaken about my occupation.
Anthony- Come again?
Hunter- You said I worked as an asshole.
Anthony- No, I said you were an asshole. The only person who can find work as an asshole is Keith Olbermann.
Genuine laughter is heard.
Anthony- Let's begin the game.
An overblown light display and cheesy, borderline annoying instrumental theme is triggered, ending up in nothing much changing.
Anthony- Question One: Who is the current career points leader in the National Basketball Association? A: Kareem Abdul Jabbar B: Karl Malone C: Hakeem Olajuwon D: Kobe Bryant
Hunter thinks for a second.
Hunter- The answer is A.
Anthony- No, I'm sorry, the correct response is A, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Hunter- But I said A.
Anthony- No, you said, "A liberal screed where you quoted boisterous lesbian Rachel Maddow." So sorry. Next question.
Hunter- I got that first question-
Anthony- Next question!
An overblown light displayed and cheesy, borderline annoying instrumental theme is triggered, ending up in nothing much changing.
Anthony- Who won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction in 2010. A: Elizabeth Strout for Olive Kitteridge B: Paul Harding for Tinkers C: Lydia Millet for Life in Infant Monkeys D: Lore Segal for Shakespeare's Kitchen
Hunter thinks for a moment.
Hunter- The answer is B.
Anthony- No, I'm sorry, the answer is B, Paul Harding
Hunter- I said B.
Anthony- No, you said, "Bush is a Nazi. I'd like to tear off his head and shit down his throat."
Hunter- I'd never say anything like that.
Anthony- You are a liberal. Next question!
An overblown light display and cheesy, borderline annoying instrumental theme is triggered, ending up in nothing much changing.
Anthony- Who is the current Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. A: Tony Blair B: Gordon Brown C: David Cameron D: Eddie Izzard
Hunter thinks for a moment.
Hunter- The answer is C.
Anthony- No, I'm sorry, the answer is C, David Cameron.
Hunter- I just fucking said C.
Anthony- No, what you said was, "Cocksucking is an enjoyable activity, frequented by me, and all other men who support gay rights."
Hunter- Not only is that wrong, it is patently offensive.
Anthony- No it isn't.
Hunter- Yes it is!
Anthony- I am a conservative, I am perpetually right! Next question.
An overblown light display and cheesy, borderline annoying instrumental theme is triggered, ending up in nothing much changing.
Anthony- Which NBA franchise is LeBron James currently signed to? A: Cleveland Cavilers B: New York Knicks C: Utah Jazz D: Miami Heat
Hunter doesn't think over this question, but instead shoots Anthony an absolutely filthy look.
Hunter- I know what answer you want, and I am more than prepared to give it to you.
Anthony- That's what she said.
Hunter- The answer is Democrats are the only party that should have any power in the government. Furthermore, Democrats are the only party that should exist.
Anthony is shocked by this comment.
Anthony- I am shocked and appalled by that comment.
Correction: Anthony is both shocked and appalled by that comment.
Anthony- That is most certainly not the answer. The answer is D, the Miami Heat.
Hunter- But I thought that the response I gave is the response you wanted.
Anthony- Why would I want to hear a liberal and borderline facets screed?
Hunter- That's it.
Hunter pulls out a handgun out of his pocket and points it at Anthony.
Anthony- He's pointing a gun at me!
Hunter- I am exercising my Second Amendment rights.
Anthony- By pointing a gun at me!
Hunter- No, I'm pointing a gun at a point beyond you.
Anthony- What point is that?
Hunter- The monitor sitting directly behind you with a picture of a person I really despise at the moment on it.
Anthony- Who's picture is that?
Hunter- Yours.
Anthony is puzzled by this.
Anthony- So, should I move?
Hunter- Unless you want me to shoot you while I am shooting you.
Anthony gets out of his chair and steps away while Hunter fires his handgun. Hunter hits the monitor, causing the monitor to be destroyed in a manner that includes a spectacular explosion. The explosion receives thunderous applause from the audience. Anthony sits back down in his chair and attempts to bring the program to a close.
Anthony- Well, that's all the time we have for The 9.0634 Million Dollar Question. I am Anthony Severe, remind you that liberalism is like polio. A disease that will soon be eradicated through the dedicated work of scientists- I mean creationists. See you next time.
The light begin to dim on the stage as Anthony Severe runs for his life.
END SCENE
Labels:
Anthony Severe,
Game Grid,
Hunter Red,
Keith Olbermann,
Rachel Maddow,
Rodger Red,
The Act
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