Best Of Advertisements
Best Of
2013
At this
time of year many writers reflect on the past year and the things that they
have done. I think this is stupid. Looking backward results in you having a
skewed perspective on what you have done.
Also you can run into shit.
Rather
than looking backward like someone who enjoys running into things, I choose to
look forward to what will be. This is
the Best Of 2013!!!
And yes,
I've done something like this before and this is a recycled bit. Shut up!
January
20th, 2013- Bioshock Infinite is
delayed. Again. No real reason is given for this, at least
not one anyone actually believes or understands. However, we are given more pictures of that
hot Russian model chick. They are
awesome.
February
10th 2013- Pepsico announces a new
flavour of Mountain Dew to be released to coincide with Grand Theft Auto
V. The drink is called Guava Taurine Apple
Vanilla Mountain Dew. This concoction
sells 100 Million units.
March 10
2013- On the night of their Lockdown PPV
event, Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling announces a new video game based on
their wrestling product is in development.
The game is entitled TNA Wrestling: Cross The Line. Later on it is revealed the game is an iPhone
App where you colour in photos taken from TNA live events. In the game you are encouraged to "Cross
The Line" by colouring outside the lines.
April
21st 2013- Metal Gear Solid 5: Loss
Leader is announced. MGS5:LL becomes the
seventh Metal Gear title to be in development.
Later on these seven games are revealed to not actually be in
development. In reality, all "In
Development" Metal Gear titles are a result of ideas Hideo Kojima had
while high on cough syrup.
May 5th
2013- Nintendo announces a new sku for
the Wii U. The announcement of the Wii
U: Master Edition will promise such features as support for Gamecube games,
iTunes Airplay integration, inclusion of Google Maps, and a program that allows
you to pay your bills and balance your checkbook. Upon release of the Wii U: Master Edition,
none of the promised features will be included, but have a tentative release
date of April 31st, 2014.
June 9th
2013- Bioshock Infinite is delayed. Again.
People start comparing Bioshock Infinite to Gran Turismo 5. Other people make comparisons to Chinese
Democracy. Most people don't get either
reference. Tear.
July 7th
2013- Electronic Arts buys the WWE
license from THQ. EA immediately starts
development on a followup to WCW Backstage Assault.
August
15th 2013- The serialization of Volume
11 by Hunter Red ends. No one cares.
September
29th 2013- Codemasters releases a new
Rallycar racing game. No one in America
cares.
October
27th 2013- Hunter Red announces his
retirement from satire. The
Redertainment Corporation Of America announces a replacement writer for redertainment.com. The replacement is identified as Parker
Taupe.
November
3rd 2013- Hunter Red announces his
previous announcement about retiring from satire was itself satire. Mr. Red makes this announcement after
realizing nobody cared about his previous announcement.
December
1st 2013- Bioshock Infinite is released. Sorta.
The initial release of Bioshock Infinite includes the first third of the
game. The other two-thirds of Bioshock
Infinite is delayed untill a future date.
Full release of Bioshock Infinite is estimated to occur on April 31st,
2014.
Remember,
voting is now open for The Fifth Annual The Four Star Awards. The Fifth Annual The Four Star Awards are
scheduled to be unveiled on February 3rd.
A brisk
wind whips around the roof of the high rise I find myself on, adding coldness
to a dark day, a dark day the mid-afternoon sun is powerless to make
lighter. The rooftop is cold and dark
but the offices of the charity housed in this building are darker.
Volume 11
by Hunter Red. Buy it on Amazon or
don't.
Volume 11: Part 2- Dha Chathair: Thursday, September 22nd, 6:31 A.M.
Thursday, September 22nd, 6:31
A.M.
The delivery truck drove most of the night. The smooth ride and the easy going music the
driver was listening to allowed me to get some sleep. Good thing I'm a light sleeper, otherwise one
of the guys unloading the truck would have found me when he was checking the
shelf I was hiding on. This was an early
sign of the heightened security at the Dha Chathair Dolore Federal Postal
Service Facility.
Once I emerged from the truck, I could see that this
facility was no slouch at lighting the place up. All of the lights in this facility were the
kind of fluorescent ones that give bright white light all day and all night,
and all of the lights covering all of the facility were on. The only shadows in this place lay underneath
tables or directly underneath people.
There were no dark shadows or deep black corners for me to hide in. There were, however, skylights.
Spread throughout the ceiling of this facility were
skylights that provided natural sunlight and some fresh air to the
facility. What good these skylights did
in a facility dominated by artificial light I don't know. Most of these useless skylights were sitting
out in the open, but one was situated above a rack of shelves used for storing
equipment. Scaling this rack was easy
but doing so without anyone noticing was hard.
I nearly got spotted at the top but I pulled my shoe back just in
time. As I lay on my back, lying next to
scarcely used tools covered in dust, I began to examine the skylight.
The skylight seemed to be made of repurposed heating
ducts, which are hard to climb up in a silent manner. The repurposed heating ducts also appeared to
be wet, mostly due to the fact that the vents installed to allow airflow was
allowing rain in.
When I realized I couldn't get out through the
skylight, I got frustrated and kicked the shelf I was laying on. This caused one of the tools on the shelf to
fall and loudly clang on the concrete floor.
I was sure that this would lead to my capture. I was sure someone would investigate the
noise, someone would look up on the shelf I was on, and someone would find
me. I was in a full panic. My mind was racing, thinking of the thousands
of different ways, both possible and impossible, for me to save myself. No one found me. No one investigated the noise. I don't think anybody even noticed the tool
falling. Still, that didn't help my
panic go away.
There are breathing exercises you can do to slow
down your heart rate down, but those exercises are difficult to do if you can't
control your breathing. While I was
trying to stop myself from hyperventilating, something my Dad said to me came
to mind. "Hato, you think too
straight ahead. You think of one
solution to a problem then you go after it, even if there are clearly better
solutions lying in front of you. You
need to slow down. You need to look
around more. You need to use your brain
more in situations." Admittedly
that conversation aggravated me at the time, as did any other time Dad
criticized me, but that conversations served me well at that moment.
My breath and heart rate eventually calmed down and
I began to slowly look around and assess the situation I was in. I saw a row of windows, but saw I could not
open them unless I broke them. There
were several fire exits, but I didn't really want to set off the fire alarm as
I made my exit. Then I noticed something
peculiar about one of the security doors.
Like most good security doors, you need a keycard in order to open the
door to enter the building. However, unlike
many security doors, you did not need a keycard to get out of the
building. People, mostly employees who
were usually dressed like I am, just pushed on the door and left the building.
The plan for me to leave the postal facility was
this: Climb down off the rack I was laying on, walk over to the security door,
and walk out. That's it. Just that easy. Way easier than shimming up a skylight and
then trying to get down without breaking something. Executing this plan was also easy. Well, as easy as walking out of a busy
security door while not making eye contact with anyone can be, which is easier
when the employees seem to be more interested in getting the fuck out of the
facility than in socializing.
It was dark out when I exited the facility, which gave
me an ominous feeling about the city I had just traveled to. I walked around the streets of Dha Chathair
for a while trying in vain to find my bearings.
After realizing how thoroughly lost I was, I decided to change my
perspective on the city. I found a
square with several tall buildings in them and chose the tallest one to
climb. Getting to the top of this
building took longer than normal, not because it was harder to climb but
because this building was taller than any of the buildings in Moenia Prima. Looking around I could see that Dha Chathair
was bigger than my hometown. There were
more tall buildings to climb on, more large groups of people to hide myself in,
and more billboards featuring more lovely women for me to stare at.
As I sit on top of this really tall building in Dha
Chathair, I don't know where exactly to go.
I don't know how I'm going to continue in my journey to Amcan to tell
the world of what's going on in Moenia Prima.
What I do know is I can see a building with a symbol that matches the
symbol on the church my family and I went to.
That looks rather inviting.
Later.
Hato Shurtleff
Volume 11: Part 2- Dha Chathair: Introduction
Part 2
Dha Chathair
Introduction
Founded
in 1847, the city of Dha Chathair was originally settled to capitalize on the
fertile lands that fill this area of Dolore.
After the discovery of oil deposits in nearby Cookland, the population
of Dha Chathair exploded between the years 1859 and 1872, increasing from 5,790
to 91,827. The population of Dha
Chathair has continues to climb steadily ever since. Before the situation currently going on in
Dolore flared up, the last Dolorian census, conducted in 2010, estimated the
population of Dha Chathair to be 1,110,046.
With
the influx of people came an influx of ministers, bishops, preachers, and other
clergyman who sought to spread the word of their faith. Over time, the predominant religion in Dha
Chathair became The Church of the Holy God.
A dispute over the focal point of the faith caused a fracturing in 1910,
leading to the establishment of The Church Of The Lord, The One And Only Son Of
God. Just seven years later, The Church
Of The Lord, The One And Only Son Of God became the dominant religion in Dha
Chathair, both in membership and prevalence among politicians and other
powerful persons.
Dha
Chathair boasts a robust economy with many heavy players in the defense and
banking industries being headquartered in one of the city's high rise
buildings. In addition, the high
population of people under the age of twenty-five leads to a strong educational
sector. The prevalence of religious
people also leads to a high number of faith based companies being centered in
Dha Chathair.
Starting
in about 1983, Dha Chathair started to become a media center in Dolore. With three news organizations, four daily
newspapers, and two twenty-four hour cable news organizations based in the
city, Dha Chathair stands as the central hub for news in Dolore. The biggest news source in Dha Chathair is
Untitled Corporation. Untitled
Corporation is the owner, publisher, and distributer of The Dha Chathair Times,
the largest newspaper in Dolore, The Financial Times, a spinoff of the Dha
Chathair Times that focuses on financial news, and Sly 7, a twenty-four hour
cable news channel. Despite criticism of
being biased in favor of conservatives, or perhaps because if it's bias, Sly 7
is the leading news channel on cable, averaging 55% of the total audience who
is watching news.
The
demographic breakdown of the population of Dha Chathair is very similar to the
rest of Dolore. 71% of the population of
Dha Chathair is verbrecher, while 29% is opfer.
Although, much like the rest of Dolore, the percentage of the population
that identifies as opfer has been increasing over the past decade.
There
is an aspect of the racial demographic that plays a role in the situations
currently going on in Dolore. Amongst
citizens who identify as members of The Church Of The Lord, The One And Only
Son Of God, 93% are verbrecher while 7% are opfer. Amongst citizens who identify as members of
the Church of the Holy God, 68% are opfer while 32% are verbrecher.
Vince Fielding,
reporter VBNS
The Fifth Annual The Four Star Awards Nomination Special
The time
has come. The process of compiling
nominees has been going on all year, but now the nominees can be unveiled to a
public tasked to participate. The time
has come for The Fifth Annual The Four Star Awards!!!
The Fifth Annual
The Four Star Awards
In a
departure from previous years, The Fifth Annual The Four Star Awards will give
awards to the worst of the worst. The
worst games, movies, music, people, and TV shows. Nominees were decided based on Meticritic
scores, public scorn, media scorn, and the personal opinions of the employees
of The Redertainment Corporation Of America.
There are
five nominees for every category to be voted upon. Voting can be done at The Fifth Annual The
Four Star Awards Facebook Page. Voting is open now. Winners will be determined
on February 2nd, just before The Fifth Annual The Four Star Awards goes live on
Sunday, February 3rd. Voting is free to
anyone who is on Facebook. There will
also be a final overall category, nominees for which will come from the winners
of the other categories.
Here are
your nominees for The Fifth Annual The Four Star Awards:
Worst Movie
Joyful
Noise, 1000 Words, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2, That's My Boy, The
Watch
Worst Video Game
Amy, The
Expendables 2 (Video Game), Fray, Gettysburg: Armored Warfare
Worst Music
LMFAO,
Carly Rae Jepsen, Chris Brown, Marilyn Manson, Hank Williams Jr.,
Worst TV Show
Work It,
Dance Moms, Toddlers And Tiaras, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Child, Bristol Palin:
Life's A Trip
Worst Personality
Rush
Limbaugh, Keith Olbermann, Rick Scott, Scott Walker, Todd Akin
Voting is open now. If you are displeased with the
nominees provided, create your own damn award show.
THQ Drowns Under Giant Purple Dilldo Bats
I
remember one time coming upon a situation that has always stayed in my
mind. It was a pond with two people at
it. One was in the water, the other
wasn't. The person in the water was
thrashing about, trying to stay afloat, in total distress. The person not in the water was watching the
other and doing nothing. Eventually the
person in the water went underneath the water, dying as a result, and the
person not in the water did nothing. I
did nothing as well, but I was listening to In The Air Of The Night, which I mistakenly believed mirrored the situation I was observing.
What does
the paragraph above have to do with anything?
This week, THQ filed for bankruptcy.
After much struggling, thrashing about, and desperately trying to help
itself, THQ drowned under the weight of it's debt. And we all watched it happen. And laughed.
And hit people with giant purple dilldo bats.
As Phil
Collins once said, "You're fucking the painter!" So true.
So true.
Labels:
Phill Collins,
The Coup,
The Four Star Awards,
THQ
Volume 11: Part 1- Moenia Prima: Wednesday, September 21st, 8:38 P.M.
Wednesday, September 21st, 8:38 P.M.
Sparra explained to me once how the Dolore Federal
Postal Service works. He said,
"When mail is sent out, first it goes to a central mail processing center,
located in every major city. If the mail
is addressed to a city served by that facility, the mail is processed in
house. If the mail is addressed to a
city served by a different facility, the mail is sent, by plane or truck, to
that facility to be processed."
Even though that conversation had nothing to do with
what we were talking about at the time, it was a great help to me now. Now I know what I have to do to get to Dha
Chathair. All I have to do is sneak into
a secure Dolore Federal Postal Service facility, get into the back of an
outgoing truck, hide myself in said truck, and catch a free ride to where I
want to go. That sounds difficult, but
it is really easy for someone highly trained in the art of osher. It's also easy for someone who's friend let them
into the facility and while they were in there they spent time studying the
facility's layout.
Getting inside a secure federal facility is usually
difficult. Key cards to get in, fences
topped with razor wire, and motion sensitive lights make the building
incredibly imposing. However, if your
employees fiddle with a door so that they don't have to unlock a door every
time they want to take a smoke break, that creates a major hole in your
security. After I got in, I had to make
sure that no one would spot me as I made my way over to the outbound delivery
trucks. The big halogen lights that hang
in the roof of the facility would have made this hard if all of them had been
on. Fortunately, as a cost saving
measure, most of the big lights were turned off, allowing the facility to be
light with much less expensive natural light.
I snuck into the facility at about dusk, giving me a lot of long dark
shadows to conceal myself in.
The biggest obstacle I had to overcome was which
truck I would hide in. Obviously the
trucks weren't labeled with which city they were going to, so I thought I was
going to have to either listen to the driver's conversations or guess. As I was scanning the transportation area, I
found a large board with many pieces of paper on it. On these papers were all the trucks, where
they were going, and when exactly they were leaving. So, that took the guess work out of what I
thought was my biggest obstacle. This
whole thing was so easy I was sure I was walking into a trap.
Once I got into the correct truck going toward my
desired destination, I found a pair of shelves on either side of the
truck. I found myself a place on the
highest shelf where I felt I wouldn't be discovered. Upon reflection this was an unreasonable
assumption, but it worked. As the truck
pulled out of the postal facility and on its way to its destination, I said a
silent prayer. Hopefully God will shine
on my and his hand will guide me in my mission to save my people. I don't know what God has in store for me and
the rest of the people in Dolore, but I pray it's better than what's just happened.
Later.
Hato Shurtleff
Volume 11: Part 1- Moenia Prima: Wednesday, September 21st, 1:48 P.M.
Wednesday, September 21st, 1:48 P.M.
It took me a while to recount what happened this
morning in my journal. It took me less
time to decide how I should move forward.
The story of what's going on in this town must be told and it must be
told in a way that will reach people who will do something about it. I'm going to go to Amcan in the country of
Velas. I'm going to find the Velas
Broadcast News Service and I'm going to tell them of what I've seen. I also know how I'm going to get to
Amcan, or at least I thought I did.
When I moved the panel and emerged from the
compartment I was in, Valerie's body was sill lying on her bed. Her eyes, once so full of life and hope, were
now still and hollow. It's strange to
look at someone you once found so alluring who is now dead, their body
desecrated with violence. To experience
this twice in two days is indescribable.
My plan was to take Valerie's car, follow the route
laid out by my Hipster's map program, and get to Amcan over the course of
several days. Sure, I don't know how to
drive a car, but it can't be that hard.
Hell, the only reason we don't allow monkeys to drive is because the
amount of excrement thrown out of car windows on the freeway would go
down. Valerie's keys were in her purse
which I found on a broken table in the kitchen.
Before I left, I thought I should say something to Valerie, if only to
settle my conscience.
"Valerie, I thought I should tell you before I
left that I'm taking your car. I know I
should of helped you when Mr. Furcifer was attacking you. I see now the fight I was hearing in that
compartment you hid me in. There is no
explanation for why I didn't help you.
There is no excuse. The only
thing I can say is that I will bring people back here. I hope doing that will lead to you telling me
you forgive me in heaven a very long time from now."
After I made my peace, I set off for Dha
Chathair. At least, that is what I
intended to do. As I was about to leave,
I looked out the smashed front window at Valerie's car. The car didn't look good before, which is why
I guess Valerie used to take the bus to work, but the car looked even worse
with its windows smashed, hood caved in, and tires slashed. Clearly, I wasn't going to be driving this
car to Dha Chathair, or anywhere for that matter.
I needed to think about how I was going to get to
where I wanted to go. Usually when I
need to think about something, I use music as a kind of lubricant. My Hipster has a built in crappy speaker, so
I started flipping around and listening to whatever music came up. One of the songs I fell upon was Candyass by
Klavier. All of the memories I have of
Klavier in some way involve Sparra. The
concert we went to together, the trip we took where all we listened to was
Klavier, the many, MANY, times he declared the guitarist of Klavier to be the
Siren of rock and roll, those memories ring out like the Klavier bell that
Sparra bought online.
Listening to Klavier and remembering Sparra gave me
an idea of how I can get to Dha Chathair.
I still need to sort out the details of this plan, but once I do it will
be an awesome feat in itself.
Later.
Hato Shurtleff
I Got Nothing
For now, I invite you to go up to the house. Get something to eat, maybe take a shower and get a fresh change of clothes, and, most importantly, relax for a bit. What you've been through I wouldn't wish on myself or, for that matter, anyone.
Volume 11 by Hunter Red. Available now in ways that allow you to read it.
Also available from Hunter Red The Black Robin Christmas Carol, The Hawk, and The Hawk: Consequences Of Mayorust. Buy them because of reasons.
#ProjectBeacon
Volume 11: Part 1- Moenia Prima: Wednesday, September 21st, 6:49 A.M.
Wednesday, September 21st, 6:49 A.M.
Every other time I've approached Valerie's home early
in the morning I had an illicit through in my mind. This time I didn't. This time I needed help, and I thought
Valerie was the person who could help me.
I needed someone to help me get to Dha Chathair. I needed someone to help me see my parents
again.
I didn't get much sleep between what I found at
Delany's apartment and getting over to Valerie's house. The sound of Valerie turning on her radio to
listen to the news awoke me from me nearly forty-five minute slumber. Approaching the front door wasn't a good idea
because I didn't want to take the chance of being exposed. Instead I knocked on Valerie's back door just
as she was finishing her shower.
"Hello," Valerie implored at the
mysterious knocking. I knocked
again. "Hello? Is somebody there?"
In a small strong voice I said, "Valerie. It's Hato.
I need your help."
"Hato?"
Valerie walked over to her back door and opened it up. "What are you doing here?" All Valerie has on was her bath towel.
"Um, I'm sorry about disturbing you before you
got dressed, but I need help and you're the only one left." I don't know if it was my fractured speaking
or my sad complexion, but I somehow got through to Valerie.
"Take a seat in the kitchen while I get changed
real quick." The Velas Broadcast
News Service was playing in Valerie's kitchen as I took my seat in it. They were reporting about green technology
and new techniques to make pasta for Velasian cuisine, not a word about what
was going on in Moenia Prima. Valerie
started talking to me as she was changing in her bedroom. "So, why are you coming to me for
help? Where are Solanin and Belle?"
"Last time I saw them they were getting in
their car and heading for Dha Chathair.
I don't know if they've made it or not."
"Why didn’t you go with them?"
"I wanted to gather some of my friends and go
with them."
"Okay, so where are they?"
"I'm pretty sure Sparra is gone, the manager at
Wanda's strip club told me that, although I hesitate to believe him. I just came from Delany's apartment."
Valerie came out of her bedroom. She was dressed and struggling to put on her
watch. "What about her, why can't
she help you?"
My face turned downward as I responded to Valerie's
question. This is something people do
when they're about to say something bad.
"I found Delany in her apartment.
She was in the back bedroom, behind what looked to be a mountain of
hastily put together obstacles. The
bedroom looked to be brutally ravaged and torn to shreds. Delany looked the same. The difference between Delany and the room I
found her in is Delany looked like she had put up a fight as those savages did
what they did to her."
I looked up and saw Valerie standing before me. The look on her face betrayed the sunny
sundress she was wearing. "Oh
God. I'm so sorry Hato. I can't imagine what it's like. Between your brother being killed and now
your friends, I'm just so sorry."
Valerie gave me a hug as I sat at her kitchen table. The warmth of her body as she embraced me
made me feel good. I think I felt a
couple of tears fall on my head and Valerie held me. Valerie let me go, wiped a couple of tears
from her eyes and said, "Okay, I'll help you. What do you need?"
"I need to get ride to Dha Chathair. I think I can figure out how to get there, I
was just counting on either Sparra or Wanda having a car."
"So you need my car?"
"I need a car.
Whether it's yours or somebody else, I just need a car to get to Dha
Chathair."
"Do you know how to drive a car?" There was a playful accusatory tone in
Valerie's voice as she said that.
"I'm aware of how to drive, but I haven't done
it in a couple of years."
"So, how were you planning to drive to Dha
Chathair?"
I thought for a moment then responded. "I think I can use the skills I learned
in that racing game I suck at to help me get there."
Valerie lightly chuckled at that comment. "I'll take you to Dha Chathair. Let me go dig out my road maps and we'll be
off."
Hearing Valerie say maps, I started fishing around
in my pockets. "Wait, I have a map
program on my Hipster." It was when
I was digging around when someone knocked loudly on Valerie's front door.
"I wonder who that could be this time in the
morning?" The person knocked loudly
again. "Whoever it is certainly is
impatient. Who is it?"
"Valerie!
Open up, we need to talk."
The person at the door was Mr. Furcifer, his loud booming voice sent
Valerie into a panic.
"Shit!
Hato, we need to hide you."
I didn't see the need to panic. "Why?"
As she jerked me out of the chair and shoved me into
her bedroom, in a stifled tone Valerie said, "Because Allen is one of the
people going around killing opfers. If
he finds you here, I'm toast." Once
I was in her bedroom, Valerie yelled back toward the door, "Hang on, I'm
not decent."
I started looking around for a place to hide. "Should I hide underneath your bed or
squeeze in behind your dresser?"
Valerie was moving clothes around in her
closet. "Will you quit joking
around." A sound came out of the
closet. When I looked at it I saw that
Valerie had slid the back panel of her closet away, revealing a compartment
behind her closet.
"What is that for?"
"Does it matter? Get in!"
I stepped into the compartment and Valerie slid the panel back into
place. "Don't worry Hato. I'll get rid of Allen then we'll be on our
way. It won't take long."
"Okay."
Settling into my hiding place, I started using my Hipster to plot out
the course we would take to Dha Chathair.
The light from my Hipster allowed me to see what Valerie kept in her
secret compartment. For a teacher,
Valerie had some good booze. There was a
small hole in the panel which allowed me to look into Valerie's bedroom. I could see only her bed, her dresser/vanity,
and the outside edge of her bedroom door frame.
I couldn't see much but I could hear everything.
After she turned off the radio and fiddled with her
hair in her mirror, Valerie entered her front room and answered her front
door. "Allen, what do you
want?"
I could hear Mr. Furcifer loudly and clearly. "Get out of my way." Mr. Furcifer forced his way into Valerie's
home.
"Please come in Allen."
Mr. Furcifer was stomping around Valerie's
house. He would take a couple of steps,
stop, take a couple more steps, stop, then take a couple of more steps and
stop. "Where is he?"
"Who?"
"You know who."
"That secret boyfriend you think I have."
There was the high pitched sound of something going
through the air before I hear something hit like a ship against Valerie's hardwood
floor. "Don't fuck with
me." Mr. Furcifer walked around and
peered into Valerie's bedroom. He gave
me a good fright as he looked around for what felt like a long time before
retreating back into the front room.
"You know, I ran into Hato's parents yesterday, you know Sakoshi
and Belle."
"Solanin."
"What?"
"Hato's father's name is Solanin. Sakoshi is the name of the boy you killed,
who incidentally is Hato's brother."
"The fuck I care. Anyway, I ran into Solanin and Belle
yesterday as they were leaving their house.
I wasn't the only one that ran into them, there was a group of us. After we took care of them, I walked-"
"Wait, what do you mean by-"
The high pitched sound was heard again before I
heard something thud against what sounded like Valerie's couch. There was a lot of anger in Mr. Furcifer's
voice when he said, "Don't interrupt me.
Anyway, I walked up to-"
"Is that the pointing stick you used to kill
Sakoshi?"
This time something hit one of the walls. "Yes it is! Interrupt me again and you'll taste it's
sting. Anyway, after we took care of Solanin
and Belle, I walked up to their house, looking for Hato. I looked all around that house for him. I went through every room, the attic, the cellar,
turned some things over for the fuck of it, but couldn't find him. I was thinking over it was I watched all
those damn fretons play outside, then I remembered something. Who is someone that Hato can go to for
help? Who is someone that has helped
Hato before?"
There was a short tenuous pause. "What are you looking at me for?"
From the effect Mr. Furcifer put on his voice, it
was clear he was trying to sound intimidating and evil. "Valerie, you are going to tell me where
Hato Shurtleff is, and you are going to tell me now."
"I don't know."
"Valerie, tell me where Hato Shurtleff
is."
"I don't know."
"Tell me now."
"I don't know.
I haven't seen Hato since Monday when you killed his brother."
"Liar!"
Mr. Furcifer then used his pointing stick, the pointing stick he killed
my brother with, to whip and smash what sounded like Valerie's front
window. "You lying bitch. How dare you betray your people. How dare you help that freton. How dare you protect that criminal opfer
scum. You're hiding him, aren’t
you? I bet you're hiding him in this
house!"
"How?
Look at how small this place is.
Where am I hiding him, the roof?"
Mr. Furcifer whipped the wall again, this time
causing something that hung on it to fall to the floor. "Then you sent him off. Sent him off to one of your friends. Sent him off to a reporter from that damn
news service you always listen to, a news service that slanders the glorious
work we verbrechers are doing to protect Dolore."
"I haven't sent him off somewhere because I
haven't seen him."
"Liar!"
This time, after Mr. Furcifer whipped something, Valerie called out in
pain. "Don't you lie to me again,
bitch. Where is he?"
"You think I won't fight back, don't you? That I'll just give in to what you want. I'm not changing my story because it's the
truth. Hato isn't here."
Whip.
"Liar!" Whip. "Bitch!" Whip. "Whore!"
There was a collision and a crash. "Yeah!
How do you like that? How do you
like a woman standing up against you?"
There was a more violent collision and a louder
crash. "Now you're going to get
it!" The sound of Mr. Furcifer
driving Valerie into a wall and Valerie crying out in pain. Then Valerie being driven into the wall
again, and again, then the sound of clothing being torn, then the driving sound
again. Each successive sound of violence
kept on getting closer and closer and closer.
"You are going to fucking tell me where that fucking freton is
hiding or I will fucking kill you. Don't
fuck with me."
It was after Mr. Furcifer made his murderous threat
that Valerie stumbled into her bedroom and into my field of vision. She did not look good. Her sundress was torn, tattered, and barely
hanging on her. She was bleeding from
cuts on her arms and face. There were
welts from Allen's repeated whippings on Valerie's face, neck, and chest. Valerie stumbled over to her dresser when Mr.
Furcifer entered the room. Based on his
physical state, Mr. Furcifer clearly had the upper hand in this fight.
Valerie was gasping for air when she saw Mr.
Furcifer behind her in the mirror. There
was a deadly terror in Valerie's eyes when she saw him. "Allen, you don't have to do this."
"Yes, Valerie, I do." In a flash, Allen closed the distance between
him and Valerie, grabbed her head and slammed it into the glass mirror. The first impact didn't break the mirror, the
second did, the third broke it further, and the fourth even further. "Where is he?" Smash.
"Where is he!"
Smash. Seeing the violent
combination of skin, blood, and glass made my stomach turn. As Valerie was pawing around on the top of
her dresser, Mr. Furcifer said, "If you don't tell me where Hato is, I'll
kill you just like I killed his parents!"
Hearing that made just about caused me to get
involved. I was preparing to try and
move the panel that concealed me in the compartment I was hiding in when
Valerie made her move. Valerie mule
kicked Mr. Furcifer, sending Allen stumbling backward, then Valerie picked up a
piece of the mirror that had just been broken and slashed Mr. Furcifer's
face. Being wounded by Valerie caused
Mr. Furcifer to scream out in pain for the first time in this confrontation. Rather than feeling the pain and recoiling from
it's sting, Mr. Furcifer saw Valerie turning around to slash him as an
opportunity. The opportunity he had been
waiting for.
After she had finished her slashing arc, Mr.
Furcifer grabbed Valerie by the throat with both hands. The first outward expression of the kind of hold
Mr. Furcifer had on Valerie is when Valerie’s eyes opened wide, nearly popping
out of place. Valerie kicked and punched
and flailed around, but the grip remained.
Mr. Furcifer's hold on his victim became more strong, more secure, more
intense as he lifted her from her feet.
Once he got his victim to a sufficient height, Mr. Furcifer pivoted
untill he could slam Valerie on her bed.
This gave him more leverage.
Valerie tried like mad to stop what was happening, but slowly her back
lost its arch. Slowly her arms fell
limp. Slowly her legs began to dangle
off the edge of her bed. Slowly Valerie
ceased.
It was a long time after Valerie stopped fighting
that Mr. Furcifer loosed his grip. He
stood in front of his victim, arms covered in blood, breathing as if taunting
the Valerie that she could not. Among
the blood on Allen’s face, both his and his victim’s, was a smile. A smile that grew as he looked upon his
fallen prey. Allen left Valerie's
bedroom, traveled through the front room, and opened the door. Before he left, Allen said this:
"Hato. I know you're here,
Hato. I want you to know something Hato. We will find you. We found your brother. We found your father. We found your mother. We found them and we killed them, just like
we will do to you. You opfers are a
scourge, and we verbrechers and here to cleanse this world of you." Then, mercifully, he left.
I don't know how I feel right now. There's an element of fear in what I feel but
there's also a feeling of defiance in me.
These people, these verbrechers, seek to kill my family, my people, my
race. I must survive. No, I must do more than that, I must stop
them. How I can stop them is a question
I haven't answered yet, but I do know this: I can't stop them here. I can't stop them in this compartment. I can't stop them in Moenia Prima. I must leave this place. I must seek out people who will help me help
my people. I must do this. I.
I don't know how I will stop the verbrechers from
slaughtering my people. What I do know
is that what Mr. Furcifer said about finding a reporter from the Velas
Broadcast News Service does sound intriguing.
Hato Shurtleff
Volume 11: Part 1- Moenia Prima: Wednesday, September 21, 12:02 A.M.
Wednesday, September 21, 12:02 A.M.
God damn it.
God damn it. I mean- I just-
Fuck. Damn it all to hell.
Why didn't I go here first? Why wasn't this the first place I
looked? Why was I not here to stop here-
these- these fucking savages.
Where am I going to go now? Who can I could on? Who's left?
How am I going to get out of this fucking place?
Fuck. God
damn it.
Hato Shurtleff
English 2030- Final Project
World of Warcraft, also referred to
as WoW, is a massively
multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) released by
Blizzard Entertainment in November 2004.
World of Warcraft has a subscriber base of ten million, the largest
amount among role-playing games of its type.
In World of Warcraft, teams of players gather to tackle dungeons,
complete missions, which is known as raiding, or to accrue experience for their
characters, known as leveling.
Communication is a key part of playing World of Warcraft. Players of World of Warcraft communicate both
inside and outside of the online game experience in order to better co-ordinate
with each other, plan out strategy, or just as friends.
There are people who are intimidated
by World of Warcraft. They watch videos
of the game being played and see images that can be very hard for someone
unfamiliar with the game to understand.
People who are not familiar with World of Warcraft can also hear people
who play the game talk about the game and become more apprehensive toward this
product. Some may argue that this is purposeful,
that the language used by people who actively play World of Warcraft is
designed to keep people away from the game.
Is this really the case? Is the
language that is used by active player of World of Warcraft truly exclusionary?
In
order to attempt to answer this question, I chose to listen to a group of
people who actively play World of Warcraft talk about the game. For this purpose, I chose to listen to a
podcast produced independently of Blizzard Entertainment, produced instead by a
group of people who play World of Warcraft.
The Best Little Horde House In Azeroth, or Horse House for short, is a
podcast focused on World of Warcraft.
The hosts of the podcast talk about news, issues, and their own
experiences playing World of Warcraft. The
purpose of Horde House is for the hosts to gather and talk about their
experiences playing World of Warcraft, and also to give other players of World
of Warcraft something to listen to that pertains to the game. For this paper, episodes seventy-four,
seventy-five, seventy-six, and seventy-seven are used as material.
The regular hosts for the show are
Rob, Shane Xtopher, and Grandpa. Rob and
Xtopher are present for all four of the episodes used for this paper. Shane is present for episodes seventy-four,
seventy-six, and seventy-seven. Grandpa
is present for episodes seventy-four, seventy-five, and seventy-six. A special guest host named Sunshine is
present during episode seventy-five. The
hosts of the show seem to have a lot of experience and knowledge about World of
Warcraft.
The
Best Little Horde House In Azeroth is a show that integrates the internet into
the production and execution of the show.
The hosts of the show call each other, using the online
telecommunication program Skype. Each of
the hosts brings a news story, obtained from the internet, which is presented
and discussed. Listeners of the show can
interact with the show either through the show’s Email, Twitter, or Facebook
segments. The program is recorded and
disseminated by one of the hosts, most likely Rob.
One kind of language to be explained
is the way that patches are explained. A patch is a piece of software designed to fix
problems with, or update a computer program or its
supporting data. During episode
seventy-four of The Best Little Horde House In Azeroth, Shane describes the
latest patch to World of Warcraft like this:
Shane- Yeah, this isn’t big news though. This is just a little news story called “They
Updated The Game With A New Patch”. It’s
a very minor patch, 5.0.5, and most of it seems to be tool tip corrections,
because of the random rebalancing they’ve been doing constantly to the
game. But there are a couple of neat bug
fixes that people can appreciate, like the spell graphic for the Arcane Bomb
during the, uh, Queen Azshara encounter, and, um, you know that instance, that
stupid one, Eternity. It’s been reduced
to what they call a reasonable size, because if you’ve played that instance since
the patch came out, 5.0.4, it takes up, like, the entire screen. I think it goes on a little bit to the wall
behind my computer monitor.
Shane
is basing his description of the effect of the patch from the World of Warcraft
Patch 5.0.5 Notes and is also adding in some of his own experience. While Shane is describing the effect of the
patch in a way that some people may not understand, it can be argued that Shane
is merely cutting through the technical jargon that is found in the source
material. This is an excerpt of the
World of Warcraft Patch 5.0.5 Notes, including the section Shane referencing
the Arcane Bomb:
Bug Fixes
·
Well of Eternity
·
The spell graphic for Arcane Bomb
during the Queen Azshara encounter has been reduced to a reasonable size.
Ulduar
·
The Silence and Pacify effects from
Conservator's Grip are now removed from players once they step within the
appropriate area radius of a Healthy Spore mushroom.
Dragon Soul
·
Player pets should no longer
experience pathing issues when attacking Deathwing's Arm Tentacles.
·
Congealing Bloods now move at slower
base speed.
Master Looters can again assign loot
to players in other groups within a raid.
The Refer-A-Friend Summon should
again function as expected.
Worgen players on pre-Cataclysm
accounts should be able to accept and complete all Gilneas quests.
Players should again be able to
teleport out of the Firelands Hatchery in Hyjal if they have completed
Aessina's Miracle.
Players should be able to use the
new Fishing spell where appropriate.
Crossing coalesced zone boundaries
should not duplicate profession recipes.
Players should no longer
inappropriately receive the "Requires master riding skill" or
"Requires artisan riding skill" errors when attempting to mount
certain mounts.
Items in the Auction House UI should
no longer display in reverse order when sorted.
The PvP node capture bar should be
back in expected locations such as Wintergrasp, Tol Barad and Venture Bay.
Players should no longer be placed
into battlegrounds that they have downvoted while queueing for a Random
battleground.
Flying over Wintergrasp when no
battle is active should no longer cause a forced dismount.
Accepting a quest that flags you for
PvP combat should no longer prevent you from accepting further quests.
Resolved a Mac issue related to CPU
usage.
As he deserves, Crithto should
now be attackable by both Alliance and Horde players.
(Kaivax, 2012)
The language seen in these patch
notes assumes the reader has a high level of knowledge about the things being
references, as well as a small amount of technical knowledge. The use of this kind of language is not
unique to Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft. This is a small section of how Apple
describes the security updates made in the latest patch to the iTunes software,
10.7:
iTunes 10.7
§
WebKit
Available for: Windows 7, Vista, XP SP2 or
later
Impact: Visiting a maliciously crafted website
may lead to an unexpected application termination or arbitrary code execution
Description: Multiple memory corruption issues
existed in WebKit. These issues are addressed through improved memory handling.
CVE-ID
CVE-2011-3016 : miaubiz
CVE-2011-3021 : Arthur Gerkis
CVE-2011-3027 : miaubiz
CVE-2011-3032 : Arthur Gerkis
CVE-2011-3034 : Arthur Gerkis
CVE-2011-3035 : wushi of team509 working with
iDefense VCP, Arthur Gerkis
CVE-2011-3036 : miaubiz
This is how Adobe describes the 11.5
Update to Adobe Flash Player:
ADOBE FLASH
PLAYER 11.5 (WIN AND MAC) AND 11.2 (LINUX) - 32 BIT AND 64 BIT DEBUGGER (AKA
DEBUG PLAYER OR CONTENT DEBUGGERS) AND STANDALONE (AKA PROJECTORS) PLAYERS FOR
FLEX AND FLASH DEVELOPERS.
11/6/2012
– Updated debugger and standalone versions of Flash Player. These players
contain fixes for critical vulnerabilities identified in Security Bulletin APSB12-24 . The latest
versions are 11.5.502.110 (Win and Mac), 11.3.276.12 (Windows 8) and
11.2.202.251 (Linux). All users are encouraged to update to these latest
versions.
While this kind of complex technical language used to
describe software updates seems to be common among most computer companies, a
question arises if this language is also common among video game companies. Assassin’s Creed III is a video game released
on October 30th, 2012 by the Canadian based developer Ubisoft. This is an excerpt of how Ubisoft describes
the Assassin’s Creed III Thanksgiving Patch:
Multiplayer
Multiplayer Modes
- ASSASSINATE - Instances where it was possible for players to kill players that were not their target in Assassinate have been corrected.
- ASSASSINATE - Bodyguards no longer fail to stun when they are locked by the pursuer of the player they protect.
- DEATHMATCH - In Fort Wolcott, fixed a bug where players would remained stuck on warmup screen.
- MANHUNT - The cooldown boosts for loss streak bonus are not permanently active for all abilities during a manhunt round anymore.
Multiplayer Abilities
- Loss Streak now correctly triggers when players lose their contracts five times in a row.
- Disruption now breaks the hitting player’s lock.
- The Smoke Bomb’s drop behavior has been updated. It now drops at the user’s feet instead of dropping in front of them. However, if players drop it from a ledge, it will drop below them.
- Throwing Knives used against players hiding in haystacks will now make them get out of this haystack.
- Using Throwing Knives against a target now prevents the target from contesting the kill.
- Players are no longer stuck after using the Money Bomb from a ledge.
Multiplayer Ladders
- Several issues which occurred when players would quit a Manhunt pre-session lobby and join their friends the same session later have been corrected.
- After a session ends on a draw, both teams will now receive the same rate for Abstergo ladder, instead of one team getting a winning rate and the other getting a losing rate.
- Players are now granted Abstergo points normally even if one or several players get the idle state at the end of the session (The idle players do not get any Abstergo points)
Multiplayer Misc
- It is now possible for players to lock their target when their target has just stunned them.
- Changing the ability set three times during a game can no longer reset the ability’s cooldown.
- The X icon no longer inaccurately persistently displays.
- It is no longer possible for players to get up and perform a kill under certain conditions while they’re vulnerable.
- Transitions to join Multiplayer sessions after an invite now work correctly.
- Warm up games are no longer interrupted when the host player leaves.
- It is now possible to stun a vulnerable pursuer.
- The X icon no longer displays above the pursuer’s previous target when they have been stunned after being vulnerable.
Multiplayer Modes
- ASSASSINATE - Instances where it was possible for players to kill players that were not their target in Assassinate have been corrected.
- ASSASSINATE - Bodyguards no longer fail to stun when they are locked by the pursuer of the player they protect.
- DEATHMATCH - In Fort Wolcott, fixed a bug where players would remained stuck on warmup screen.
- MANHUNT - The cooldown boosts for loss streak bonus are not permanently active for all abilities during a manhunt round anymore.
Multiplayer Abilities
- Loss Streak now correctly triggers when players lose their contracts five times in a row.
- Disruption now breaks the hitting player’s lock.
- The Smoke Bomb’s drop behavior has been updated. It now drops at the user’s feet instead of dropping in front of them. However, if players drop it from a ledge, it will drop below them.
- Throwing Knives used against players hiding in haystacks will now make them get out of this haystack.
- Using Throwing Knives against a target now prevents the target from contesting the kill.
- Players are no longer stuck after using the Money Bomb from a ledge.
Multiplayer Ladders
- Several issues which occurred when players would quit a Manhunt pre-session lobby and join their friends the same session later have been corrected.
- After a session ends on a draw, both teams will now receive the same rate for Abstergo ladder, instead of one team getting a winning rate and the other getting a losing rate.
- Players are now granted Abstergo points normally even if one or several players get the idle state at the end of the session (The idle players do not get any Abstergo points)
Multiplayer Misc
- It is now possible for players to lock their target when their target has just stunned them.
- Changing the ability set three times during a game can no longer reset the ability’s cooldown.
- The X icon no longer inaccurately persistently displays.
- It is no longer possible for players to get up and perform a kill under certain conditions while they’re vulnerable.
- Transitions to join Multiplayer sessions after an invite now work correctly.
- Warm up games are no longer interrupted when the host player leaves.
- It is now possible to stun a vulnerable pursuer.
- The X icon no longer displays above the pursuer’s previous target when they have been stunned after being vulnerable.
The kind of
complex technical jargon may be difficult for even people with knowledge of the
product being described to understand, much less people who are new to the
product. Shane’s attempt to cut through
the jargon allows people who may not readily understand the language commonly
used to describe the patches software companies make to their products
understand the effects of the patch. So,
in this example, the language Shane used is not exclusionary.
Another example of language people
who don’t play World of Warcraft might not understand comes from episode
seventy-five of Horde House.
Rob-
What’s you plan for Pandaria?
Who’s your first character that you’re taking to ninety?
Sunshine-
I don’t know. I mean, probably my
Death Knight. I mean, she’s still, kind
of, my main, but I don’t know. Probably
my Druid after that, and, I don’t know.
Rob-
You know you’re going to roll a Monk somewhere.
Sunshine-
Oh yeah. That, honestly, that
going to be, probably, my first thing I focus on actually, because I’m not
really going to be in a rush to hit ninety.
In this excerpt, Rob and Sunshine
use several different terms to describe the various characters Sunshine plays
in the game. Similar descriptive
language is used by Rob and Shane in this excerpt from episode seventy-four of
Horde House, responding to a question from a listener named Phantamous.
Rob- Monk or Priest? Shane, I haven’t played around with
Monk. What would you say are kind of the
differences that Phantamous needs to consider?
I mean, at the end of the day, I don’t know, what fits your play style,
right?
Shane- Well, the first thing is what spec are
you going? Because if he’s doing,
choosing between those two, I assume, the only thing they really share is
healing, since their DPS is ranged or melee when one tanks. So, if he’s going Priest, you might be able
to speak to that a little bit more, but for Monk healing, it’s all about, like,
how your spells work with one another.
And it looks like you better be prepared so melee some too.
Rob-
As far as Priests go, if you like to play with the bubbles and the shields,
the Disc Priests get to do a lot of that.
It’s really about anticipating damage, whereas Holy is a little bit more
about reacting to damage. I think Holy
is a little bit underrated, because a lot of people are like “Holy Priests are
so plain”, but there is a lot of flexibility within Holy Priest because of the
chakras. There are different, because
you could be a tank healer or a raid healer all in one. I gotta hand it to Holy because it’s got that
ability. Disc you can kind of do that to
an extent too. They’re both very
flexible kinds of healers. I would
imagine Monk is going to have one particular kind of style to it, whereas with
a Priest if you really want to heal you can have that flexibility. And, of course, there’s Shadow Priest.
Xtopher-
And, if you wanna be the best, be a Druid.
There is also this excerpt where
Sunshine goes in depth about one of his characters.
Sunshine- I’ve
been leveling my Warlock, who I hadn’t really touched since the beginning of
Cataclysm, because Warlocks were really, kind of like, really overbloated in
Cataclysm with the rotations, and stuff.
You know, one of the things they were touting with the new talent
overhaul and class overhauls is that each Warlock spec is going to have its own
resource system now. They’ve cleaned up
the rotations. So, my Warlock, she’s
mainly affliction, but I also decided to give her a destruction spec, because
destruction always felt, kind of, like just a firery version of a regular
Warlock. It’s so different now. It’s really weird. You have a passive skill that increases you
mana regen by, like, I think 625%.
Basically you’re just like spamming you nuke, pretty much, and hitting
some things whenever they’re charged up, and your building up burning
embers. So, it’s kind of really
interesting and unique caster spec. But,
I still prefer affliction.
Setting aside the question about
what “spamming you nuke” means, a person who doesn’t play World of Warcraft may
be puzzled about some of the terms used to describe the characters being
played. What do words like Death Knight,
Druid, Monk, Priest, and Warlock mean, and how do they relate to the characters
being discussed?
A way to answer this question is to
think about a busy office workplace.
Usually in an office setting everybody doesn’t do the same job. Different people work on different things,
based on that person’s skills and expertise.
In an office that works in a coherent fashion, different people with
different skills work on different parts of a task to accomplish a common
goal. Such is the case with World of
Warcraft.
Death Knight, Druid, Monk, Priest,
and Warlock are examples of different job classes in World of Warcraft. When a player creates a new character in WoW,
there are nine different job classes to choose from, with a tenth class that
can be unlocked later in the game. Each
of these job classes come with different attributes and abilities that the
character can utilize. These different
attributes and abilities help the player, as well as people in that player’s
group, achieve the goals they wish to accomplish.
World of Warcraft is not alone it
its use of job classes. There are many
video games that utilize a job class system.
Final Fantasy X-2, a role playing game like World of Warcraft, features
seventeen different job classes, ranging from Alchemist to White Mage to
Mascot. Guild Wars 2, an online role
playing game that competes against World of Warcraft, features eight different
job classes broken down into three different character professions. Even Battlefield 3, a first person shooter
played primarily online, features four different classes to choose from,
representing the different roles that a soldier can take on the field of
battle.
The use of job classes in other
video games shows a commonality in the use of this language. Different games use job classes differently,
and different names are used for what may be the same kind of job class, but the
concept is the same. However, a problem
arises in the following example:
Rob-
You know, I think Allen is going through something similar. Now, he’s not here to defend himself, but
since he lives with me, I’ll feel the need to speak on his behalf. He’s been having a hard time adjusting to the
talents too. He’s not been playing WoW
as much, and I think that a lot of it too, and he’s a Boomkin, and I think a
lot of it is, like, “What do you mean there’s no Insect Swarm?”
In this case, the use of the word
“Boomkin” may be particularly perplexing for people who do not play World of
Warcraft. Even people who play other
role playing games may be confused as to what this word means. Describing something as a “Death Knight”
causes people to make an association with a Black Knight, common in medieval
lore. Describing something as a “White
Mage” causes people to make an association with someone who uses magic for a
positive end. What association is made
with a “Boomkin”? What is a Boomkin?
A search for an explaination of the
word “Boomkin” brings up the following answer:
Players have
given the moonkin form many nicknames. These are normally short and end with
-kin; some of them are: Boomkin, a moonkin druid with a high damage output;
Oomkin, a moonkin with poor mana regen; Doomkin, a good PVP moonkin (rarely
used); Noob/newbkin, a bad/inexperienced moonkin druid; and Panzerkin, a
tanking moonkin. Sometimes these nicknames are used to describe a particular
druid, but most of the time players use them as a general term. Many moonkin
druids find some of these nicknames insulting.
The use of the word Boomkin to
describe this character may have the effect of alienating people who do not
play the game. There is no ready
association between the character and the word used to describe that
character. Other problems of this nature
come when looking at language used to describe how the game is played.
This excerpt is from episode
seventy-four of Horde House:
Shane- And then, LFR is stupid. And it just teases you with stuff.
This is an excerpt from episode
seventy-five of Horde House:
Sunshine- I thought LFR was great. I mean, even though the other people in it
aren’t always great, just, you know, the steps that they took to make the game
more accessable, which has really been something has started really back in
mid-Rath, when they introduced the dungeon finder, and stuff.
In both of these excerpts, something
called “LFR” is mentioned. Shane
expresses a dislike for LFR, while Sunshine says he likes LFR, but neither of
them says what LFR is. In fact, nowhere
during the four episodes of Horse House used as material for this essay is LFR
explained.
There are places online where LFR is
explained. According to Wowpedia,
“The Raid Finder (or “Looking For Raid”, commonly abbreviated as
“LFR”), similar to the Dungeon
Finder, is a tool that helps players find and join a
random or specific raid instance with others.”
The problem with this is that if you were unfamiliar with World of
Warcraft and wanted to know what LFR was, you could not rely on the players of
World of Warcraft to explain it. An
outsider would have had to use an online source because those on the inside
spoke in a way that only those on the inside understand.
Another example of this behavior
occurs during episode seventy-four of Horde House.
Grandpa-
Have you ever tanked, Rob?
Rob-
Not- No- Ah, actually I take it back.
I do have an endgame character, my Warrior is eighty-five, and I use
that player. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand it.
Shane-
I plan on becoming a Druid tank again in the next pack.
Rob-
I, on Drenden, where the official Horde House guild is- Best Little
Horde House on Drenden Hordeside- on Drenden server, I have a level twenty-five
Paladin that I was tanking with. Jamie
and I were leveling characters over there.
That was a lot of fun. I love the
Captain America tanking. That’s fun.
Xtopher-
And with the change to Holy power, it actually, I hear, makes tanking a
lot of fun on Paladins.
Rob-
What about you Grandpa? You have
a tank?
Grandpa-
I have everything.
In this excerpt Rob and Shane
discuss their experience tanking. Shane
talks about how he wants to be a druid tank, while Rob talks about how he used
his level twenty-five Paladin as a tank.
Neither host gives an explanation as to what tanking is. This is despite tanking being an activity
that one must prepare themselves to do, as is shown in this excerpt from
episode seventy-five:
Xtopher-
Also, I have this interest in tanking this time. But, ah, I didn’t realize that with the
talent reset they actually kept you two specs that you had before, you know. So, I didn’t really venture into respecing yet. Plus, I don’t have any gear for the other
specs.
Tanking
also appears to be an enjoyable way to play the game, as is shown in this
excerpt from later on in episode seventy-five:
Rob- Let’s get into some Warcraft Tweets at
Twitter.com/HordeHouse. FlacoJones
starting us off tonight. “My favorite
part of the scenario was tanking as an Elemental Shaman. Reminded me of early WoW, we did more
unorthodox stuff.”
There
are several conclusion that can be drawn from these examples of how players of
World of Warcraft speak. The general
tone of The Best Little Horde House In Azeroth seems to be friendly, comical,
and generally non-confrontational. All
of the hosts seem to be friends who know each other and how each of them plays the
game. The familiarity had between the
hosts of the show allows them to feel free to talk about things that go on in
the game. This friendly atmosphere may
explain why the hosts discussed things in the way that they did without feeling
the need to explain what they were talking about. Even people who have knowledge and experience
in playing other video games, and even other role playing video games, may have
a problem following the discussion had in this podcast. Not all of the examples presented here are
purposefully exclusionary. Some of the
exclusionary tactics are a result of the way that companies communicate with
the public, or how the normal public may be unaware of the mechanics that video
games are commonly built on. However,
these exclusionary tactics are there, and are a part of the reason that people
who do not actively play World of Warcraft are intimidated from doing so.
Bibliography
Adobe Systems Incorporated. (2012, November 6). Adobe
Flash Player - Downloads. Retrieved from
http://www.adobe.com/support/flashplayer/downloads.html
Apple Inc. (2012, September 12). About the security
content of iTunes 10.7. Retrieved from http://support.apple.com/kb/HT5485
ArenaNet. (2012, October 12). Profession - Guild Wars 2
Wiki (GW2W). Retrieved from http://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Profession
BF3Blog.com. (2012, November 25). Battlefield 3 Classes-
Battlefield 3. Retrieved from http://bf3blog.com/battlefield-3-classes/
Curse, Inc. (2012, November 20). Raid Finder - Wowpedia
- Your wiki guide to World of Warcraft. Retrieved from
http://www.wowpedia.org/Raid_Finder
FredEx919. (2012, November 15). Assassin's Creed III
Thanksgiving Patch [Spoilers] | Forums. Retrieved from
http://forums.ubi.com/showthread.php/726389-Assassin-s-Creed-III-Thanksgiving-Patch-Spoilers-Forums
Kaivax. (2012, September 11). World of Warcraft Patch
5.0.5 Notes - World Of Warcraft. Retrieved from
http://us.battle.net/wow/en/blog/7198941
Rob, Xtopher, & Shane. (2012, October 5). The Best
Little Horse House In Azeroth- Episode 77- It's all about *Censored*!
Rob, Xtopher, Grandpa, & Shane. (2012, September 28).
The Best Little Horse House In Azeroth- Episode 76- My five man is full of
Chuck-E-Cheese characters!
Rob, Xtopher, Grandpa, & Sunshine. (2012, September
20). The Best Little Horse House In Azeroth- Episode 75- Cataclysm, Sashay
Away!
Rob, Xtopher, Shane, & Grandpa. (2012, September 13).
The Best Little Horse House In Azeroth- Episode 74- Quit being so fat, you
guys!
Wikia, Inc. (2012, October 26). Moonkin Form - WoWWiki -
Your guide to World of Warcraft. Retrieved from
http://www.wowwiki.com/Moonkin_Form#
Wikimedia Foundation, Inc. (2012, November 21). Final
Fantasy character jobs - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Retrieved from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_Fantasy_character_classes
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)