****- It's a Bird, It's a Dog, It's a Pair of Red Heads!

The Hawk by Hunter Red
Take the normal superhero origin story. Guy gets powers, guy discovers he has powers, guy goes out to save the world. Now factor this in: the guy has a score to settle.

The Hawk by Hunter Red. Available for you to download for free by clicking on the link above, or go to Redertainment.com and find the same link there. Download it, print it off, read it, give it to your friends, and tell me what you think, or don't.

Want a suggestion? Print off The Hawk, go buy U2's No Line on the Horizin, sit in your favorite chair, and start enjoying them both. They have nothing to do with each other, I just think it's a good idea.

Ein's Blog #1
For years, I had said in jest, "Everyone and their dog has a blog." Now my dog has a blog. Here is Ein's first blog post: What I Do All Day

For years, my male human has wondered what I do all day. He has no idea what I do between the time I see him off and the time I see him return.

One day he set up a camera to capture these activities. he thought he had done it all secretively, but I knew what that teddy bear was for. So I decided to screw with him. I sat in front of the bear with this cheesy grin on my face, all day long. When my male human got home, he reviewed the tape, looked at me, and said "Weird".

It's not like I do anything weird. I eat, sleep, get some exercise, pleasure myself, eat, sleep, whatever. Occasionally I go see Valentine. It's purely a physical relationship. I don't need to get burned again like I did with Julia.

Sometimes the female human will come over. She feeds me, we play a little bit, and I pester her as she grooms herself, puts on clothes, and drowns out her natural smell. I don't know why humans insist on having clothes on when they're around other humans. I roam around naked all day and I don't see anyone having a problem with it. Also, as far as I can tell, humans tend to have more fun when they're not wearing clothes.

There's not much else I do when my male human isn't around. I am curious as to what my male human does all day without me. Maybe someday I'll place a camera in one of the head covering he wears everyday, or maybe I'll sneak into the trunk of his car like one of my former female humans did.

Till next time, keep on licking!

Comedian Blamed For Losses

Recently, Funcom, makers of such games as Casper and Pocahontas, announced they had lost $22.3 Million in the fourth quarter. Most analysts blame this loss on their lackluster Conan MMORPG. However, in a statement released today, Funcom CEO Trond Arne Aas blames the loss on one person, Conan O'Brien.

Trond Arne Aas said, "The blame for the poor critical response and less than projected subscribership for our Conan MMORPG can be laid solely at the feet of that ginger haired bastard. Did he mention the game once on his show? No! Did he provide voice or motion capture for the game? No! Is he going to give any of his Tonight Show salary to keep this game aloft? NO! Ungrateful Ivy League prick." When informed that Funcom's Conan MMORPG was based on Conan the Barbarian and not Conan O'Brien, Mr. Aas proceeded to swear profusely then went to the bar to get faced.

When asked for a comment on this story, Mr. O'Brien said, "I have no idea what you're talking about," then proceeded to jump and dance around like a squirrel on crystal meth.

The future of Funcom's Conan MMORPG is unknown at this point. What is known is this: The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien premiers on June 1st and will be awesome.

The Red Interview- Jun Takeuchi

Hello and welcome to The Red Interview. I am your host, Hunter Red. With me today is Jun Takeuchi, acclaimed producer of Resident Evil 5. He is here to talk about the recently announced Lost Planet Squared.

R- Mr. Takeuchi, it is very nice to meet you.
T- Thank you, but what did you say were going to talk about?
R- The game that you, last Monday, exclusively announced on Xbox Live, Lost Planet Squared. Now, Mr Takeuchi-
T- The name of the game that I announced was Lost Planet 2.
R- I heard no mention of Lost Planet 2 in the video, and the logo clearly says Lost Planet with the number two placed in a way that conveys Squared not Two.
T- I can assure you, the name of the game is Lost Planet 2, the placement of the two in the logo is just to make it look cool.
R- So you care more about something looking cool than conveying the message properly?
T- Let's just move on.
R- Okay. In the trailer I saw for Lost Planet Squared it is evident that you will be able to shoot and move in this game. Why hasn't this ability been brought to the Resident Evil franchise?
T- That's it. Fuck it, I'm out of here.

At this point Jun Takeuchi got up and stormed out of the interview room.

Well that's it for The Red Interview. I'd like to thank my guest Jun Takeuchi for being here today. I am Hunter Red reminding you, boxers first, then pants. See ya soon.

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