Alan's Discount Stuffed Animal Emporium

As a single guy, I am aware of the strain that comes with having to dine alone.  Not only is this awkward for myself, but the wait staff is also less than happy to see me walking in alone due to the loss of potential sales that come single dining.  Finally a restaurant has come up with a solution to my problem.  That's my problem, not the wait staff's problem, mine.  Recently a story started circulating about the Moomin Cafe, a restaurant in Japan where you dine with the stuffed animals from the Moomin series.  If you come to this restaurant, and you are dining alone, the wait staff will inform you that there is somebody who would like to sit with you, and then place a stuffed animal in the chair across from you.

This is a great way to deal with the problem of having to dine alone.  Sure it doesn't solve the problem, but it does make the diner feel less awkward about having to do so.  However, the approach taken by the Moomin Cafe only solves one part of the experience of single living.  Sure you are saved from dining alone, but what if you don't want to die alone?  Well, that's where Alan's Discount Stuffed Animal Emporium comes in!

At Alan's Discount Stuffed Animal Emporium, we have tons of unused and clean stuffed animals that you can fill your home with!  Alan's Discount Stuffed Animal Emporium features a wide selection of stuffed animals in all different sizes, shapes, and textures.  Don't want to come home to an empty house?  With Alan's Discount Stuffed Animal Emporium you can fill your family room with enough furry friends to make you about the huge gaping hole in your life.  Sure you may still technically die alone, but at least you won't have a house full of cats eating your face.  Instead, you'll have a house full of giant bunnies gently nuzzling you into the next life.

Alan's Discount Stuffed Animal Emporium: Just off the Third Street Exit, next to the old KFC where the Kmart used to be.  Don't park in front or your call will get towed.