Questioning Tinder

Questioning Tinder

by Hunter Red

I’ve sent out several messages this morning

At least I think they’re messages

I don’t know

I think “Like” is a message

It’s not like “Don’t Like” is a message

Unless it is

Oh shit!

Do people see when I don’t like something?

I mean it’s the internet, and people can ignore shit on the internet

But some people get really upset over shit they see on the internet

Am I cyberbullying by saying “Don’t Like”?

Am I cyberbullying by saying “Like”?

Am I a cyberbully?

Am I a stalker?

This internet messaging is weird

I’ve sent out several messages this morning

No responses yet

No responses yet

No responses yet

Why no responses yet?

Am I that unpopular?

Is it the pics I posted?

Is it the info I put in my profile?

I don’t want to give away too much info, but did I tell enough?

Why no responses yet?

I mean, sure it’s been ten minutes

But some people are connected constantly

I’ve sent out several messages this morning

I hope I get a reply

Hope

Hope

Also, what the fuck is Tinder?

Are they going for a tinderbox, which you use to light fires,

Or is it like a tinderfoot, which I think is a scouting things but I’m not sure.

Which one am I hoping it is?

A fire or a thing for kids?

Is neither an option?

I mean, this is supposed to be a dating app

I don’t want to date fire

And I really don’t want to date kids.

Really

Really

Okay, maybe fire, but definitely not kids

I’ve sent out several messages this morning

Maybe I’ll get a response

Maybe I’ll be popular

Maybe I’ll get lots of responses

How much of a charge does my phone hold?

If I get a fuckton of messages, will my phone die by lunchtime?

Will this impact my bill?

If I get a lot of messages, will I go over my data limit?

I don’t want my carrier to charge me for overages

But I could take money out of my budget for overages

Do I really want to do that?

Maybe if I get some

I can finally budget out something for sex

What’s the usual single man’s budget for sex?

I’ve sent out several messages this morning

Here’s hoping for something good

Should I be drinking at this time of the morning?