$5,528.31

$5,528.31.  That's how far away I am from amassing the money in order to accomplish Project Buy A House.  Five thousand five hundred twenty-eight dollars and thirty-one cents.  Then I can be rid of this shit.  I'm not going to put a donation link on this page.  That's something my mind won't allow me to do.  What I can do is tell people that there books that I have written that are for sale, the proceeds of which go to me.

The Black Robin Christmas Carol
Amazon
Kindle
Nook

Volume 11
Amazon
Kindle
Nook

The Hawk
Amazon
Kindle
Nook

The Hawk: Consequences Of Mayorust
Amazon
Kindle
Nook

Whatever Beacons The Hawk
Amazon

It's Too Good To Be Naked Pictures Of Carla Bruni

There's an old saying: if it's too good to be true, it probably is.  If you recieve an email telling you that some Nigerian price is offering you any amount of money, it's too good to be true.  If some strange guy in a van is offering you candy in exchange for helping him find his dog, it's too good to be true.  If the people who laughed at you and made fun of you in high school suddenly start treating you humanely and even vote you homecoming queen, it's too good to be true.  If some random Ginger offers you free copies of his book, it's too good to be true.  If it's too good to be true, it probably is.

Nude Photos Of Carla Bruni Used In G-20 Hacking Scheme

Carla Bruni naked?  Now that's gotta be true!  Click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click!

Phooey

Over the past couple of months, I have been independently learning how to write code.  I have been working to gain a proficiency in HTML and C++, as well as dabbling in Java and Visual Basic.  There is one reason why I am pursuing this goal.

I want to hack the Xbox One Kinect so that I can remotely spy on people.  I'm not doing this because I want to show how it can be done so that a security hole can be patched up, as many white hat security professionals do.  In fact, it was my intention to keep this little project of mine quiet so that I could spy on people without anyone noticing.

I won't go into detail as to who I would be spying on and to what end I would be wanting to spy on them, but I believe the picture provided above says more that I care to type.  Yes, my motives were base and craven, but my motives to do everything are base and craven.  Hell, I write books in the hopes that people might find me more attractive.  It hasn't worked yet, but still I'm trying.

On Wednesday my hopes were dashed.  In an article posted on IGN, a Microsoft representative is quoted as saying, "There is no tech magic going on here and Kinect cannot see through clothing."  Phooey.  Now how am I going to use the internet to watch women get naked?

John "White" Swallow

Swallow categorically denies deleting emails, computer files

Generally I don't believe the people who claim to represent me and my lack of faith in them has been rewarded with example after example of complete and utterly unapologetic incompetence, but I especially don't believe John Swallow.  Remember that part in Whatever Beacons The Hawk where I say the following about a public official

"The vibe that guy gave off made him seem as greasy and deplorable as a duck covered in oil."

You don't?  You don't remember that part of the book that I released for free earlier this year?  Damn.  Well, in that passage I was talking about John Swallow.  I just don't believe a word that comes out of that guy's mouth, and I never have.  For years I have referred to this guy as John "White" Swallow, the "White" part referring to an obscene sex act.  This is a totally unfair name to give him but I continue to use it and I will continue to use it untill such time as John "White" Swallow fades from my memory.  That or a cease to find that joke funny anymore.

Whatever Beacons The Hawk: Pennzoil Edition

Earlier this year I released Whatever Beacons The Hawk, the followup to The Hawk and The Hawk: Consequences Of Mayorust.  This release was met with a tepid response.  Due to this, I have arranged for a special edition of Whatever Beacons The Hawk to be released in time for the Holiday season.  The special edition of Whatever Beacons The Hawk won't be a simple repackaging but will include all new content and a special treat for my fans.  Whatever Beacon The Hawk: Holiday Edition will include something never before seen in publishing.  WBTH:HE will include a quart of motor oil.

That's right, a quart of motor oil.  Also included in Whatever Beacons The Hawk: Holiday Edition is instructions to use the oil to "spread the darkness".  The interpretation of those instructions is up whoever receives it.

Whatever Beacons The Hawk: Holiday Editon: Destroy the world better than Katy Perry can.

Inevitable?

There's a feeling that I have about my writing.  While I have achieved personal success in that I am writing in the way that I want at the pace that I want, I have not achieved monetary success.  My writing has not sold very much, but it is my feeling that eventually it will.  I feel that if I plug away long enough eventually I will find my audience, I will find my fanbase, I will find a group of people who will reward my work with the benefits of their work, eventually I will achieve monetary success with my writing.

It’s ‘inevitable’ major publishers will come to Ouya, says CEO Julie Uhrman

Now, after reading the article linked above and the comments of Julie Uhrman, I wonder if I am deluding myself.  Will I ever be the success I think I will be, or am I continuing to fail in a public manner much like the Ouya?  This is a complex question that will take self reflection to answer, but one thing is clear:

Ouya founder on unfulfilled Kickstarter orders: 'I am pissed'

At least I don't have people bitching online about how they haven't received their order of Whatever Beacons The Hawk.

Whatever Beacons The Hawk Physical Release

Eleven years after the events of Consequences Of Mayorust, The Hawk finds himself dealing with many of the same issues that many of us deal with: A less than satisfying job, co-workers of variant annoyance, and a romantic life is unhealthy at best. Thrust into all this is Madison Medina, a well meaning woman who's adversarial relationship with The Hawk morphs into a kind of friendship. Madison, in addition to learning more about herself and her abilities, help to reveal deeper problems inside the organization both she and The Hawk work for. Whatever Beacons The Hawk

Whatever Beacons The Hawk is now out in physical form.  You can buy it here.  Or, you can download the PDF for free right here.  This way you can print yourself off copy of Whatever Beacons The Hawk for the low low price of nothing, or figure out how to put it on your personal digital book reading device for the low low price of also nothing.  Isn't nothing awesome?

Whatever Beacons The Hawk: Official Digital Release Set For.................................................................................

NOW!

Eleven years after the events of Consequences Of Mayorust, The Hawk finds himself dealing with many of the same issues that many of us deal with: A less than satisfying job, co-workers of variant annoyance, and a romantic life is unhealthy at best.  Thrust into all this is Madison Medina, a well meaning woman who's adversarial relationship with The Hawk morphs into a kind of friendship.  Madison, in addition to learning more about herself and her abilities, help to reveal deeper problems inside the organization both she and The Hawk work for.  Whatever Beacons The Hawk, available now at the link above.

Whatever Beacon The Hawk is my fifth book and my third book to feature The Hawk.  Due to the fact that, to my knowledge, I cannot pursue a choose your own price model for the digital release of this book, I have chosen to release Whatever Beacons The Hawk in a PDF format for free.  The reason that I am putting out the digital copy for free is not that I don't think Whatever Beacon The Hawk isn't worth money.  The reason that I am putting out the digital copy for free is that I can and why not.  Also, I gave up on making money from my writing after the lackluster response from The Black Robin Christmas Carole.  If you feel the need to pay me for my book, and I have no idea why the fuck you would do that, I suggest purchasing the other books that I have tried and failed to make money on.

Since Project Buy A House isn't going as smoothly as I planned, I have had to move back the release date of the physical edition of Whatever Beacons The Hawk to whenever I can fucking afford to do it.  It's not that releasing a physical copy costs a lot of money, it's that it costs money and I don't have spare money to spend on things that will not make me money, and, as I stated earlier, I do not believe that my writing will make me money.  I do plan to eventually release a physical copy of Whatever Beacons The Hawk, but if you are impatient and want a physical copy now, I suggest downloading the digital copy and utilizing a motherfucking printer.  If you complain about the fact that there is no cover art, I suggest you either go fuck yourself or hire a person with actual visual artistic skill to make a decent cover for me.  I would suggest this person.