I Know They're Watching, And I Like It

Top-Secret Document Reveals NSA Spied On Porn Habits As Part Of Plan To Discredit 'Radicalizers'

According to an article on The Huffington Post, the NSA is gathering information about the porn habits of so called "radicalizers", and, given the tactics the NSA is reported to use, it can be safely assumed that the NSA is gathering information about the porn habits of everybody.  So the NSA knows the porn habits of everybody, including me.  So the NSA knows what porn I am watching.

I have mixed emotions about this.  While I feel that this is an invasion of my privacy and that my porn habits are of no one's business unless I am doing something illegal, I also feel a little bit of a kinky twinge.  Someone is looking at me when no one is supposed to be looking at me.  I am doing dirty things while someone is surreptitiously watching me.  That's like exhibitionism taken to a whole new level.

So, thank you NSA for giving me another source of sexual thrill.  Now, kindly, get the fuck out of my business.  Call me when you actually find out information that can help people, like where a missing person is or who the fuck moved my goddamn cheese.